Great Britain. Army -- Officers -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Claire nodded. She was not angry, because she saw that Winn was fighting
her not because he wanted to be victorious over her, but because he was
being conquered by pain.
She was not going to let him be conquered by it--that, as Miss Marley
had said, was her responsibility--but it wasn't going to be easy to
prevent it. She was close against the danger-line, and every nerve in
her being had long ago become part of Winn. He was fighting against the
best of himself, but all that was not the best of Claire fought on his
side. Perhaps there was not very much that was not the best in Claire.
She hesitated, then she said:
"I thought you wanted me--to go. I think you really do want it; that's
why I'm going."
Winn leaned forward and took hold of both her wrists. "So I did," he
agreed; "but it isn't any good. I can't do it. I've thought it all
out--just what to do, you know--for both of us. I'll have to leave my
regiment, of course, but I can get back into something else all right
later on. Estelle will give me a divorce. She'll want to keep the child
away from me; besides, she'll like to be a public martyr. As for you and
me, you'll have to face rough music for a year or two; that's the worst
part of it. I'm sorry. We'll stay abroad till it's over. My mother will
help us. I can count on her."
"Winn, come here," said Claire. He came and knelt down beside her. She
put her hands on his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. He tried
to keep them hard, but he failed.
"Don't try and get round me!" he said threateningly. "You'll make me
dangerous if you do. It isn't the least good!"
"Can you listen to what I say?" Claire asked quietly.
"I suppose so," said Winn, guardedly. "I love every bit of you--I love
the ground your chair's on--but I'm not going to give in."
"And that's the way I love you," she said. "I'd go with you to the
world's end, Winn, if I didn't love you so much and you'd take me there;
but you won't, for just the same reason. We can't do what would be
unfair; we shouldn't like it. It's no use, darling; we shouldn't like
it."
"That's all you know about it," said Winn, unappeasably. "Anyhow, we're
going to do it, whether you like it or not."
Then she took her hands away from his shoulders and leaned back in her
chair. He had never seen her look so frail and small, and he knew that
she had never been so formidably strong.
"Oh, no, Winn," she whispered; "I'm not. I'm not going to do it. If you
wanted it, if you really wanted it with all of you, you wouldn't be
rough with me; you'd be gentle. You're not being gentle because you
don't think it right, and I'm never going to do what you don't think
right."
Winn drew a deep, hard breath. He threw his arms round her and pressed
her against his heart.
"I'm _not_ rough," he muttered, "and you've got to do it! You've got to
give in!"
Claire made no answer. She only clung to him, and every now and then she
said his name under her breath as if she were calling to something in
him to save her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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