"Mrs. Gaunt's not strong enough to go to London," he broke in, for the
first miserable instant conscious only that he could not part with her.
"No, sir. She said you'd say so--that's what she's crying about,"
replied Grover, fairly breaking down, and turning away.
The man's face was white. "Stay where you are--wait--I am going in to
see her," he muttered. Grover made a movement, but shrank back again.
It was not for her to interfere with what her master chose to do.
The opening door brought Virginia to attention. She had been lying face
downward upon the sofa, which stood near the fire they always lit in
the evening. With a bound she was on her feet, and when she saw him she
gave a gasp of terrified surprise; then, with extraordinary swiftness,
her mood changed.
"It is you, is it?" she said in a voice that was hardly audible, so
husky was it with violent weeping. "Come and look! Come and see what
you have done. Oh, indeed you have got your wish! You have made me
suffer. Never in all your life can you have had to endure anything like
the torment--I say the torment--that I am undergoing now!" She stood
before him, defiant, tense with the force of the feeling in her,
wringing her little weak hands, clenching them over her labouring
breast. "Oh, why didn't I go on, why didn't I stay there at my
post--working, starving, loving them, till I dropped? If she had to
die, she could at least have had me with her. I could have been sure
that all was done that could be done. She wouldn't have had to die
crying for a sister that never came. Oh!" she burst out with a final
effort of uncontrollable emotion, all the more distressing because it
could but just be heard, "why was I ever born to know such agony as
this? I thought God would let me bear it all--not her--not that little
thing! Oh, Pansy, Pansy, _Pansy_!"
She dropped again upon her sofa--her face hidden in the cushions,
trying to stifle the tearing sobs. Her husband made a gesture of
despair. He came near. He would have knelt beside her, but he dared
not. He was so overwhelmed with what he was feeling, and the
impossibility of expressing any of it, that for a moment he was choked
and could not speak. When he did, the curb he was using made his voice
sullen and without expression.
"Virginia, I am sorry. Let me help you. Please show me your letter, or
tell me what is in it."
Something unwonted--something she did not expect--must have spoken in
his repressed voice. She sat up, wiping away the blinding tears, and
tried to speak to him, but failed for weeping. At last, feeling that
her voice could not be controlled, she drew out a letter from the front
of her frock and held it to him.
He took it, warm from its late contact with her; and the thought made
him for a moment dizzy, so that words and lines swam before his eyes.
He read it through.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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