The olive branch was held out with a smile, and as Philippa checked
herself on the verge of remarking that it would be difficult to sell a
story a week, peace was restored once more. The housekeeper went about
her duties, and the author experienced that alternate elation and
depression which follows artistic success. She had created something of
real merit and power; that was a thrilling reflection, but quickly
following came the dreary certainty that virtue had gone out of her, and
she would never be able to do so well again. She hastened to her desk,
hoping to disprove the dread by writing something better still; but,
alas! her heroine sulked persistently, refused to be cajoled into
conversation, and after being dragged through half-a-dozen pages, was
promptly condemned to the flames. It appeared that even when one had
begun to ascend the ladder there was imminent danger of falling off!
Years later, when Theo had made a name for herself as an author of power
and originality, she used to look back on that morning and smile at her
own ignorance in having supposed for a moment that the battle was won.
It was only begun, and it was a battle which had to be waged to the end.
There could be no sitting down and congratulating one's self on
victory; no relaxation of care and study, for each fresh success brought
its onus of responsibility, and made it more imperative for her to
maintain her best. There were times when she thought wearily of Mr
Hammond's suggestion of "the bonnet-shop," and realised that millinery
would have been easier end more remunerative, but there was never an
hour when she regretted her choice of a career. It seemed to her that
no other work could be so absorbing--such a constant refuge from self.
Fortune had evidently made up her mind to smile upon the Charrington
sisters this Christmas-tide, for Minnie Caldecott approved
enthusiastically of the design for her concert programme, and the
nursery frieze found a purchaser the first time it was exhibited. Madge
had summoned courage to show the latter to "Pepper" on its completion,
when he found a dozen faults, and made huge pencil-markings to
illustrate his meaning, the while the artist writhed in agony; but
finally he turned up trumps in the most delightful manner by giving her
an introduction to the firm with whom she finally transacted her
bargain. Judging from the experiences of the past few months, she had a
future before her in this particular branch of her art, and might in
time make a comfortable income; but it was not in the least the work she
had coveted. She burned to create great subjects on great canvases--to
paint with strong, lurid brush--and lo! it appeared that it was her
mission to design pretty leaflets and comic pictures for the nursery.
It was a blow, but Madge had the good sense to realise that it is better
to excel in humble work than to struggle painfully after the
unattainable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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