The man who had lost his memory mastered himself with an effort.
His horror had surged up just now and overwhelmed him altogether,
but the extraordinary quiet of the other man and his apparently
frank inability to understand what was the matter brought him
down again to reality. Subconsciously, too, he perceived that it
would be a relief to himself to put his developing feeling into
words to another.
"You wish me to say? Very well---"
He hesitated again for words.
"You are sure you'd better? I know you've been ill. I
don't want to---"
Monsignor waved it away with a little gesture.
"That's all right," he said. "I'm not ill now. I wish to God I were!"
"Quietly, please," said the young man.
He swallowed in his throat and rearranged himself in his chair.
He felt himself alone and abandoned, even where he had been
certain of an emotional sympathy.
"I know I'm clean against public opinion in what I think. I've
learnt that at last. I thought at first that it was the other
way, as . . . as I think it must have been a hundred years ago.
But I see now that all the world is against me--all except
perhaps the people who are called infidels."
"You mean the Socialists?"
"Yes, I suppose so. Well, it seems to me that the Church is . . ."
(he hesitated, to pick his words) "is assuming an impossible
attitude. Take your own case; though that's only one: it's the
same everywhere. There are the sumptuary and domestic laws;
there's the 'repression,' as they call it, of the Socialists. But
take your own case. You are perfectly satisfied that your
conclusions are scientific, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"You're a Christian and a Catholic. And yet, because these
conclusions of yours are condemned--not answered, mind you, or
refuted by other scientists--but just condemned--condemned by
ecclesiastics as contrary to what they assume to be
true--you . . . you care----"
He broke off, struggling again with fierce emotion. He felt a
hand on his arm.
"Monsignor, you're too excited. May I ask you some
questions instead?"
Monsignor nodded.
"Well, don't take my case only. Take the system, as you said just
now. I really want to know.... You think that the Socialists
ought not to be repressed--that every man ought to be free to
utter his opinions, whatever they may be. Is that it?"
"Yes."
"However revolutionary they may be?"
Monsignor hesitated. He had considered this point before. He felt
his answer was not wholly satisfactory. But the monk went on.
"Suppose these opinions were subversive of all law and order.
Suppose there were men who preached murder and
adultery--doctrines that meant the destruction of society. Would
you allow these, too, to publish their opinions broadcast?"
"Of course, you must draw the line somewhere," began
Monsignor. "Of course----"
"Where?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You said that we must draw the line somewhere. I ask you where?"
"Well, that, of course, must be a matter of degree."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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