Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; Social change -- Fiction
He did not know when he succumbed to drowsy weakness. But he awoke at
daylight, lying on the floor, stiff with cold. Drink helped him to
drag through that day. Then something happened to him, and time meant
nothing. Night and day were the same. He did not eat. When he lay back
upon his bed he became irrational, yet seemed to be conscious of it.
When he sat up his senses slowly righted. But he preferred the spells
of aberration. Sometimes he was possessed by hideous nightmares, out
of which he awoke with the terror of a child. Then he would have to
sit up in the dark, in a cold sweat, and wait, and wait, until he
dared to lie back again.
In the daytime delusions grew upon him. One was that he was always
hearing the strange voices of the river, and another that he was
being pursued by an old woman clad in a flowing black mantle, with a
hood on her head and a crooked staff in her hand. The voices and
apparition came to him, now in his waking hours; they came suddenly
without any prelude or warning. He explained them as odd fancies
resulting from strong drink; they grew on him until his harsh laugh
could not shake them off. He managed occasionally to drag himself out
of the house. In the streets he felt this old black hag following him;
but later she came to him in the lonely silence of his room. He never
noticed her unless he glanced behind him, and he was powerless to
resist that impulse. At length the dreary old woman, who seemed to
grow more gaunt and ghostly every day, took the form in Lane's
disordered fancy of the misfortune that war had put upon him.
Lane dreamed once that it was a gray winter afternoon; dark lowering
clouds hung over the drab-colored hills, and a chill north wind
scurried over the bare meadows, sending the dead leaves rustling over
the heath and moaning through the leafless oaks. What a sad day it
was, he thought, as he faced the biting wind: sad as was his life and
a fitting one for the deed on which he had determined! Long since he
had left the city and was on the country road. He ascended a steep
hill. From its highest point he looked back toward the city he was
leaving forever. Faint it lay in the distance, only a few of its white
spires shining out dimly from the purple haze.
What was that dark shadow? Far down the winding road he discerned an
object moving slowly up the hill. Closer he looked, and trembled. An
old woman with flowing black robes was laboriously climbing the hill.
Whirling, he placed his hand on his breast, firmly grasped something
there, and then strode onward. Soon he glanced over his shoulder. Yes,
there she came, hobbling over the crest, her bent form and long
crooked staff clearly silhouetted against the gray background. She
raised the long staff and pointed it at him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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