So that's how it 'appened, my 'earties, no matter what others may say. (Did they _see_ the Pole? They didn't! That _proves_ I 'ad took it away). It's as true as I'm standing here, lads, as true as _The Daily Mail_, That I was the first as nearly burst a-finding the Great Big Nail. SHOPPING "If you _should_ happen to be in Regent Street tomorrow at four" (ran the assignation), "just where what's the name of the street comes into it, and a lady in a very pretty new mauve coat and skirt bows to you, raise your hat and say 'Crisis' and she will let you help her with her shopping." My guess at the name of the street was successful. I raised my hat and said "Good-afternoon." "But you had to say 'Crisis,'" said Miss Middleton. "That's the password." "I can't. I've sworn I'll never say it again. I took a most fearful oath. Several people heard me taking it, and swooned." "But how do I know you're the right one if you don't say it? Well, I suppose I shall have to let you come. I've just lost mother; she went in at the silver department and out at the art fabrics--like people when they can't pay for their hansoms." "Yes, that's bad. 'The accused, who appeared to feel her position acutely, gave a false address.' What are you going to buy?" "Well, I thought I'd just help you get _your_ presents first." "I'm not giving any this Christmas. I gave a lot only a year ago." "Oh, but haven't they paid you any wages since then?" "Yes, a few trifling sums, only---- Quick, there's your mother!" I pulled Miss Middleton hastily into the nearest shop and shut the door. "What fun!" she said breathlessly. "Mother _loves_ hide-and-seek." Mrs Middleton hurried past, covered with parcels, and dived into another door. "It's quite safe now," I said. "Let's go and----" "What can I have the pleasure of showing you?" said a soothing voice at our backs. We turned round in alarm. "Er--we only just--let me see, _what_ was it you wanted?" said Miss Middleton to me. "I don't really want anything. I was going to help you buy one of those--you know." "Yes, but I've got that. I know there was _something_ you said you wanted very much." "Probably tea." "Tiaras," explained Miss Middleton hastily. "Of course." "Certainly, madam," said the shopwalker. "If you will just sit down," he continued, leading us to a little room out of the main stream of shoppers, "I will send somebody to attend you." We sat down mechanically. I leant my stick against a showcase and balanced my hat on the top of it. "Now you've done it," I said. "How many tiaras shall we have? I've got nearly four pounds." "We needn't have any. We can say we don't much care about their selection." "Or that we wanted one specially built for us." "One goes into dozens of shops without buying _anything_," said Miss Middleton cheerily. "I never do," I replied gloomily. "Look out, here he is."