English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English; Sports stories
Decidedly. So I stayed in bed and ignored the water-jug; save that
each morning, as I left my rooms, I gave it a parting sneer. It was
gone by the evening, but turned up again all right next day. After a
month I began to get angry. My housekeeper was defying me; very
well, we would see who could last the longer.
But after two months it was a Mede. Yet I have this triumph over
her. That though I take the water in I ... pour it into the bath and
slip back into bed again. I don't think she knows that.
Since then there have been many Medes. Little ones as to the
position of the chairs; bigger ones as to the number of blankets on
the bed. You mustn't think, though, that I always submit so easily.
Sometimes I am firm. In the matter of "Africa Joe" I have been very
firm. Here, I know, I have right on my side.
A year ago I was presented with a model of an Irish jolting car (with
horse and driver complete), which had been cut out of some sort of
black wood. The thing used to stand over my fireplace. Later on I
acquired, at different times, a grey hippopotamus (in china) and a
black elephant. These I harnessed on in front of the horse; and the
whole affair made a very pretty scene, which was known to my friends
as "Sunday in the Forest: Africa Joe drives his Family to Church."
Besides all these I had yet another animal--a green frog climbing a
cardboard ladder. I leant this against the clock. One had the
illusion that the frog was climbing up in order to look at the
works--which was particularly pleasing because the clock didn't go.
Very well. You have the two scenes on the same mantelboard. One,
the frog as Bond Street watchmaker and jeweller, and the other (such
is Empire), Africa Joe in the heart of the forest. And what does the
housekeeper do? If you will believe me, she takes the frog down from
the clock and props him up behind the car, just as though he were
getting on to it in order to go to church with the others!
Now I do put it to you that this is simply spoiling the picture
altogether. Here we have a pleasant domestic episode, such as must
occur frequently in the African forests. Black Joe harnesses his
horse, elephant, hippopotamus, or what not, and drives his family to
the eleven o'clock service. And into this scene of rural simplicity
a mere housekeeper elbows her way with irrevelant frogs and ladders!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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