Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
He was halted, all hissing hot, a few feet in the rear of what doctors
would call a compound-comminuted car. His engineer was kneeling down
among his drivers, but he did not call ・007 his “Arab steed,” nor cry
over him, as the engineers did in the newspapers. He just bad worded
・007, and pulled yards of charred cotton-waste from about the axles,
and hoped he might some day catch the idiot who had packed it. Nobody
else attended to him, for Evans, the Mogul’s engineer, a little cut
about the head, but very angry, was exhibiting, by lantern-light, the
mangled corpse of a slim blue pig.
“’T were n’t even a decent-sized hog,” he said. “’T were a shote.”
“Dangerousest beasts they are,” said one of the crew. “Get under the
pilot an’ sort o’ twiddle ye off the track, don’t they?”
“Don’t they?” roared Evans, who was a red-headed Welshman. “You talk as
if I was ditched by a hog every fool-day o’ the week. _I_ ain’t friends
with all the cussed half-fed shotes in the State o’ New York. No,
indeed! Yes, this is him—an’ look what he’s done!”
It was not a bad night’s work for one stray piglet. The Flying Freight
seemed to have flown in every direction, for the Mogul had mounted the
rails and run diagonally a few hundred feet from right to left, taking
with him such cars as cared to follow. Some did not. They broke their
couplers and lay down, while rear cars frolicked over them. In that
game, they had ploughed up and removed and twisted a good deal of the
left-hand track. The Mogul himself had waddled into a corn-field, and
there he knelt—fantastic wreaths of green twisted round his crankpins;
his pilot covered with solid clods of field, on which corn nodded
drunkenly; his fire put out with dirt (Evans had done that as soon as
he recovered his senses); and his broken headlight half full of
half-burnt moths. His tender had thrown coal all over him, and he
looked like a disreputable buffalo who had tried to wallow in a general
store. For there lay scattered over the landscape, from the burst cars,
type-writers, sewing-machines, bicycles in crates, a consignment of
silver-plated imported harness, French dresses and gloves, a dozen
finely moulded hard-wood mantels, a fifteen-foot naphtha-launch, with a
solid brass bedstead crumpled around her bows, a case of telescopes and
microscopes, two coffins, a case of very best candies, some gilt-edged
dairy produce, butter and eggs in an omelette, a broken box of
expensive toys, and a few hundred other luxuries. A camp of tramps
hurried up from nowhere, and generously volunteered to help the crew.
So the brakemen, armed with coupler-pins, walked up and down on one
side, and the freight-conductor and the fireman patrolled the other
with their hands in their hip-pockets. A long-bearded man came out of a
house beyond the corn-field, and told Evans that if the accident had
happened a little later in the year, all his corn would have been
burned, and accused Evans of carelessness. Then he ran away, for Evans
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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