Such escape was not easy. He had to think of his father, that
indulgent, large-minded father who had given his son a very
remunerative share in his practice at an age when most young men
are dependent for every suit of clothes or five-pound note upon
parental bounty and parental caprice. He knew that his father looked
to him for an entire release from work before they were many years
older; and that he would then find himself sole master of a business
worth at least fifteen hundred a year. All this had come to him
and would come to him easily, as the reward of conscientious and
intelligent work. It was a prospect which few young men would forego
without considerable hesitation; but Theodore hardly thought of the
substantial advantages which he was so eager to sacrifice. His sole
hesitation was on account of the disappointment which the step he
contemplated would inflict upon his father.
He was not without a foreshadowing of a plan by which that
disappointment might be in somewise lessened. He had kept an eye
upon his brother for some time past, and he had discovered that the
young man’s fervour for the Anglican Church had begun to cool. There
were all the signs of wavering in that gifted youth. At one time he
devoted all his study to the writings of Cardinal Newman, Hurrel
Froude, and the Tractarian Party—he lived in the atmosphere of Oxford
in the forties; he talked of Cardinal Manning as the head and front
of religious thought. He was on the verge of deciding for the Old
Faith. Then a sudden change came over the spirit of his dream. He
began to have doubts, not of the reformed faith, but of every Western
creed.
“Light comes from the East,” he told his sisters with an oracular
air. “I doubt if there is any nearer resting-place for the sole of
my foot than the Temple of Buddha. I find there the larger creed for
which my mind yearns—boundless vistas behind and before me. I begin
to entertain painful doubts of my fitness for the Anglican Church.
I might be a power, perhaps, but it would be outside those narrow
bounds—like Voysey, or Stopford Brooke. The Church, with its present
limitations, would not hold me.”
The sisters sympathized, argued, quoted Essays and Reviews, and
talked of Darwin and Spencer, Huxley and Comte. Theodore listened and
said nothing. He saw which way the tide was turning, and rejoiced in
the change of the current.
And now this sultry August afternoon, pacing up and down the green
walk, he was expectant of an opportunity of discussing his brother’s
future with that gentleman himself, as Harrington was in the habit
of taking his afternoon constitutional, book in hand, upon this very
path.
He appeared by-and-by, carrying an open volume of Max Müller, and
looking at the nursemaids and perambulators.
“What, Theo, taking your meditative cigar? You don’t often give
yourself a holiday before dinner.”
“No, but I wanted to talk to you alone, and I knew this was your
beat.”
“Nothing gone wrong, I hope.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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