The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
I think the storm had pleased him while we were on the water, it wailed
and it chimed in with his own excitement; but when we landed, when we
had to rest and refresh ourselves, and there was an hour or two to wait
for a train, my heart ached for Harry. He looked so restless, so
agitated, so unhappy. I kept by him constantly, yet I sometimes feared
that I rather aggravated than soothed his emotion by any tenderness I
showed him. He looked so grateful for it, that I felt almost injured by
his thankfulness. He turned such wistful looks upon me, as if he doubted
whether I ever would look upon him or speak to him as I did now after
this day. The importance he seemed to attach to it, gave his mystery a
new weight in my eyes. I had begun to grow familiar with it--to think it
must be nothing and despise it; but it was impossible to do so when I
saw this excitement under which Harry was laboring. What could it be?
Nay, if it was indeed something very bad he had done in some former
time--which was the most probable thing I could think of--that was
nothing to me--that could never estrange us from each other. And when we
set out again upon our journey, and rushed away with giant strides to
London, I pleased myself thinking how I would laugh at his fears when I
really heard his story--how I would upbraid him for believing that
anything could ever come between us--how I would chase him back into his
old self with tenderer words than I had ever spoken yet. We sat opposite
each other, yet our eyes very seldom met--he was cogitating in doubt and
trouble, I was thinking of him very lovingly--how good he was--how
strange that he ever could do wrong--how impossible that either wrong or
right should part him and me. My heart swelled when I recollected all
his tender care of me--how, though I was his wife, I had never for a
moment been divested of that delicate and reverent honor with which he
surrounded me in the days of our betrothal. I felt that I could trust to
him as a child trusts, and not even care to seek his secret; and I
rejoiced in thinking how soon I could dissipate the cloud that was over
him when the crisis really came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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