The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
"Oh, of course, if you want to do it for pleasure that's quite a
different thing--but I really don't understand that," said Miss Saville,
abruptly.
"I do not wish it for pleasure," said I, growing almost angry; but I did
not choose to explain myself to her, and it was a good thing that she
should confess that she did not understand me.
We visited a number of poor houses after this, but I found nothing
encouraging in any of them. There were one or two old people found, who
were quite willing to be received into Miss Saville's asylum--they were
all poor stupid old rustics, all helpless with some infirmity, but I did
not find that there was anything heroic now in the prospect of waiting
upon and serving them. It was not courage nor daring, nor any high and
lofty quality which would be required for such an undertaking, but
patience--patience, pity, and indeed a certain degree of insensibility,
qualities which I neither had nor coveted. I was much discontented with
my day's experience--I was known and recognised latterly wherever we
went, and though I had no recollection of the majority of the claimants
of my former acquaintance, I was very ready to give them money, and did
so to the great annoyance of Miss Saville. As we threaded our way
through the muddy turnings, she lectured me on the evils of
indiscriminate almsgiving, while I, for my part, painfully pondered what
I had to do with these people, or what I could do for them. Though I
had read a good deal, and thought a little, I was still very ignorant. I
had a vague idea, even now in my disappointment, when I found I could
not do what I wanted, that I ought to do something--that these people
belonged to us, and had a right to attention at our hands. But I could
not lift these cottages and place them in better order. I could not
arrange those encumbered and narrow bits of path. Could I do nothing but
give them money? I was much discomfited, puzzled, and distressed. Miss
Saville plodded along methodically in her thick boots, perceiving what
she had to do, and doing it as everyday work should be done--but there
was no room here for martyrdom--and I could not tell what to do.
THE EIGHTH DAY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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