The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
And then he brought in his companion to the bright room where I had been
trimming the fire, and spreading the table for _him_, meaning to open
all my mind and thoughts, to confess my sins against him, to make of
this once cold abiding-place a genial household hearth--he brought in
here the stranger whom I had never seen before. The new comer took the
very chair I had placed for Edgar, and spread out his hands over the
cheerful fire. I am afraid to say how I felt towards him, and how his
evident comfort and commonplace satisfaction excited me. They sat down
together to the table--they began to talk of their business, which I
knew nothing of. _I_ was rather an unexpected embarrassment to my
husband--he had no need then of _me_.
So I withdrew to my room, sick at heart--mortified, disappointed,
wounded--feeling all my efforts thrown away. I could have borne it
better, I think, but for the comfortable aspect of that stranger seated
in my husband's chair. I think I could have done him an injury with
satisfaction and pleasure. I felt a ludicrous grudge against him mingle
with my serious trouble. And this was how this strange day of trial,
hope, and resolution came to an end.
THE TENTH DAY.
I had been asleep--this was a privilege which seemed to belong to my
perfect health and vigor of frame--for even in the midst of my troubles
I could sleep. I woke up suddenly in the grey and feeble daylight of the
winter morning to remember, in a moment, everything that had occurred
last night. My own great vexation and disappointment were far enough off
now to bear a calmer contemplation, and I started up suddenly inspired
with the growing purpose in my heart. I could not see how it was to be
done, nor what my first step should be, but I felt, as if by an
inspiration, that somehow, however hard it was, the wall of division
between us must be broken down to-day.
I hastened my simple morning toilette, and went immediately down stairs.
Breakfast was on the table--breakfast! how strange, in the midst of
agitation and excitement like mine, seemed these common necessities of
life. And there was the same chair standing in the same position as I
had placed it for Edgar last night. Patience! but the recollection of
the stranger in the house came over me like a cold shadow--what if he
should come to interrupt us again?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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