I told him that I had contemplated a visit to my mother, which I would
take this opportunity to make. I might find what I wished for, in the
way of business, in the vicinity of my father's former home; when, with
formal thanks for his past kindness (which I was mentally vowing I
would find some means to repay), and begging him to trouble himself not
at all about my fortunes, I bowed myself from the office where I had
spent so much of the last three years of my life.
Blind, dizzy, cold, I went to my boarding-house to pack my trunks.
Before I went to bed, my few arrangements were completed. My clothes,
books, the few little articles of taste, or gifts of friends, allowable
in one small rented room, were easily put away in their traveling
receptacle. But, as for the rest!--for the wealth which my heart had
silently garnered during the golden harvest of youth--where was it?
Swept away as by a mighty wind.
I slept some, for I was thoroughly worn out by my emotions, no less
than by my recent vigils; but the earliest morning found me awake. I
was to leave at noon; I had many pleasant acquaintances in the village,
from whom I ought not to have parted without a farewell call; but all
these small pleasures and courtesies of life were swept aside, as sand
upon my path. I had nothing to do, all the tedious morning, save to
pretend to eat my breakfast, until the hour which I had set in my
thoughts for saying good-by to the girls.
I would not go away without seeing them; if there was any accusation in
their eyes I would confront it. And then, I did not believe that
Eleanor would do me an injustice. Blue-eyed, just, gentle as was her
character, _she_, at least, was grieved for me--believed in me. I did
not admit to myself how much comfort I drew from this faith, until I
was startled from it. My baggage was dispatched; my watch told eleven;
I passed the house on the way to the cars, giving myself a few minutes
for this farewell. As I knocked at the door, one of the servants opened
it. I sent her to ask Miss Argyll if she would come down to say
good-by, before I left on my visit to my mother; and Mary--I would like
to see her also.
While I waited for them, I stepped into the dear familiar parlors and
library, mutely taking my leave of them, with all their mingled
associations. Presently the messenger returned:
"Miss Argyll sent her farewell; she could not see Mr. Redfield that
morning."
"Where is she?"
"In the breakfast-room, looking at her flowers."
I started for the room in a wild tumult of anger and passion, resolved
to make her confess the reason of this treatment. Surely, three years
of an intimacy like ours, gave me the right. In three minutes I
confronted her where she stood, in the door between the breakfast-room
and conservatory, like a statue draped in crape.
"Eleanor!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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