The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
History
The Death of the Gods: (Christ and Antichrist, 1 of 3)
Merezhkovsky, Dmitry Sergeyevich
Biographical fiction; Julian, Emperor of Rome, 331-363 -- Fiction; Rome -- History -- Julian, 361-363 -- Fiction
She drew a deep sigh and added--
"And what happiness death gives too!"
It was their last talk together. Myrrha lay in bed for several days,
motionless and silent, without opening her eyes. She may have suffered
much, for her brows would sometimes contract with pain; but a gentle
smile of resignation would follow; not a groan, not a complaint
escaped the closed lips.
Once, at midnight, she called Arsinoë, who was sitting beside her. The
sick girl spoke with difficulty; she asked, without opening her eyes--
"Is it yet day?"
"No, night still," answered Arsinoë, "but the sun will soon rise."
"I cannot hear.... Who are you?" Myrrha murmured indistinctly.
"It is I, Arsinoë."
The invalid suddenly opened her wide luminous eyes and gazed fixedly
on her sister.
"It seemed to me," said Myrrha with an effort, "it seemed to me that
it was not you ... that I was utterly alone."
Then very slowly, with great difficulty, being scarcely able to move,
she brought her transparent hands together, with an imploring look of
fear. The corners of the lips trembled, the eyebrows moved.
"Do not abandon me! When I die, do not think that I am no more!"
Arsinoë leaned towards her, but Myrrha was too weak to kiss her,
although she tried to do so. Arsinoë brought her cheek closer to the
great eyes, and the young girl softly caressed her face with the long
lashes. Arsinoë felt on her cheek a touch light as butterfly's
velvety wings. It was a trick invented by Myrrha in childhood.
That last caress brought back to Arsinoë all their life together, all
their mutual affection. She fell on her knees and, for the first time
for years, sobbed irresistibly, as if the tears were melting her
inmost heart.
"No, Myrrha," she said, "I will not abandon you.... I will stay with
you always!"
Myrrha's eyes grew animated and joyous; she faltered--
"Then you----"
"Yes; I long to believe; _I will believe!_" exclaimed Arsinoë, and
immediately wondered. Those words appeared a miracle to herself, and
no deception. She had no wish to recall them.
"I will go into the desert, Myrrha; like you, instead of you," she
continued in a transport of wild love; "and, if God exists, He must
grant that there shall be no death between us; so that we _shall_ be
always together."
Myrrha closed her eyes, listening to her sister. With a smile of
infinite peace, she murmured--
"Now, I will go to sleep. I want nothing more. I am well."
She never opened her eyes or spoke again; her face was calm and severe
as the face of the dead; and in this state she lived on several days
longer.
When a cup of wine was brought near to her lips, she would swallow a
few mouthfuls. If her breathing became nervous and irregular,
Juventinus would chant a prayer or some divine hymn, and then, as if
soothed, Myrrha began to breathe more easily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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