"May I come, too, Lady Rachel? I mean when this mossy-whiskered
physician unties me."
"May!" she said, scornfully. "You must. Where else should you go?"
"It's queer, but it seems like home, Hagar. I never saw it. Wasn't Hagar
the mother of homeless Ishmaelites?"
So Mrs. Mavering was gone. One Sabrina, a fat negro woman, was left, who
shook the floor with her tread, who wore extraordinary green kerchiefs
on her head, and exploded in a melting gobble of mirth at Gard's every
remark, till humor became a burden and he tried depression. "I shall
die, Sabrina." Sabrina gobbled with joy. He tried wrath. "You're a
galoop, Sabrina, a galoop!"--and Sabrina spilled his coffee over her
billows of delight.
Mavering appeared and disappeared, brought with him once a big,
deep-breathing man, slightly singular in dress, with a blown, gray beard
and hair, soft eyes, and affectionate, impulsive ways. Mavering
introduced him.
"He calls himself a poet, not a Plesiosaurus. His poetry looks as if it
were written, nevertheless, by a saurian with one of his fins. I
recommend you two to mutual and plastic embraces." Afterwards the gray
man came often of himself, and would sit by the bedside, holding Gard's
white, bony fingers, and recite:
"Out of the cradle endlessly rocking--"
* * * * *
"... do I not see my love fluttering out there among the breakers?
What is that little black thing I see there in the white?"
Or, "The Song of Myself"--
"A child said, 'What is the grass?' fetching it to me with full
hands."
They grew suddenly friendly and confident, and talked art and letters.
"Some of that is good stuff," Gard remarked, "and it's all
yeasty--something stirring in it. But I don't see--Here, you're an
egoist, too--you simply whoop with it--and impartially affectionate at
the same time as a self-obliterated Buddhist."
"They are one. The more I love myself, the more I love you."
"But what do you mean by, 'If I worship one thing more than another it
shall be the spread of my own body, translucent mould of me'? Now,
that's belated Greek."
"It's nothing old. It's new and democratic."
Gard grumbled feebly.
"It sounds queer enough for a gospel. It won't do for me now. I shall
have to fat up to it."
The gray man leaned forward with that tremulous, dewy look in his eyes.
He seemed to have an immense capacity of feeling, a physique made large
to endure it.
"You didn't love yourself enough. All that wasn't love. You didn't love
any one. Love inward, love outward, love everywhere, love some one most,
love many much. All empty without that, a drifting boat without anchor.
You look for the boatman. No one there. Drowned? No. Never was there."
After a long silence--"Say that 'Cradle' thing again. It's a man's soul
in the body of a whale. I don't believe it's new and democratic. It
must be old and human. But I know what you mean."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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