I made no attempt to see that other skinless person. If she had found
herself driven, from need or any other consideration, to seek a job with
the Consolidation, so much the worse; I did not see that that released
me from anything she had laid upon me. In any case, as Miss Day's
successor, I should rarely see her; even did she pass to the place
lately held by Miss Lingard I should, no doubt, be able to avoid her;
and for the rest, as she herself had said, things must drift. Sometimes,
if I must confess the truth, I found myself getting quite childishly
petulant about her. Why had she given me to suppose she was something
she wasn't? Why had she let me see her all caught-up and wise and able
to bear, as she had shown herself on that first memorable night, and
then gone to pieces like this? _I_ couldn't have known her private
feelings, but _she_ must have known them....
And what kind of impossible situation was going to be created if, even
avoiding other intercourse, I had to encounter those tourmalines of her
eyes every time I passed through the busy office to Pepper's room?
So sometimes I forgot what I had laid upon her, and was callous enough
and harassed enough to entertain almost a weak resentment against her.
Aunt Angela's new dwelling was in one of those curiously secluded little
squares or "circuses" that lie immediately east of King's Cross Road in
the neighbourhood of Mount Pleasant. You turn up from the squalid shops
and public-houses and trams, and the length of a short steep street
brings you into a space with well-built houses about it, trees and birds
in the middle, and long narrow gardens with apple and plum and pear at
the back. Away to the north the heights of Hampstead seem positively
precipitous, and, looking the other way, the multitude of turrets and
towers and spires, with St Paul's reigning over them all, is singularly
inspiring. Aunt Angela's rooms were very advantageously placed for both
these prospects. The first time I went she took me up a breakneck
ladder, through a square trapdoor in which I almost stuck fast, and out
on to the leads. The sky, torn in primrose-coloured rents and all
smoke-browned, was very stormy and fine; and Aunt Angela was looking
forward to taking tea out on the roof when the summer came.
"And I shall be able to look away to where my dear ones are," she said,
looking north again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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