The Deceased Wife's Sister, and My Beautiful Neighbour, v. 3Russell, William Clark
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The Deceased Wife's Sister, and My Beautiful Neighbour, v. 3
Russell, William Clark
English fiction -- 19th century
"You do not play the piano as you used, Geraldine. I have heard that
ghosts hate music as much as they hate sunshine or anything else that
is cheerful. When you have got on your dress, come down-stairs and play
me something, and you shall hear me sing. I had a voice once."
"I do not care to play," she answered wearily.
"You have tired yourself with digging. Lie down a little and I will
fetch a book and read you to sleep."
"I could not lie down. How strong the light is! Draw the curtains."
I did as she bade me, and took a chair at the window.
"Do not watch me so, Arthur," she said peevishly. "You have learned
that trick from your friend. Your eyes seem as sharp as his."
I averted my face, leaning my cheek on my hand.
"When you dig the earth how the horrible worms crawl out! I cut one
into four pieces yesterday, and not one piece was dead when I left.
When I die, do not bury me in the ground, but throw me as I am in the
sea. The ground is dark and rotting, but the sea is fresh. I can shut
my eyes so, and feel myself there. There," pointing in the air, "is
a huge black shadow floating over me like a cloud. Great eyes, each
with a hundred circles, stare at me through the green water. There
goes a great outline, brilliant as a rainbow, white, yellow, black,
blue----oh! how horrible it is to die!" she suddenly screamed, clasping
her hands and staring at me wildly.
I passed my arm round her neck, kissed her cold cheek, and tried to
soothe her. She turned in her chair, burying her face in my breast and
trembling from hand to foot. She disengaged herself presently, walked
with uncertain steps to the bed, and put on her skirt.
"Is there nothing you can do, my poor wife, to clear your mind of these
distressing fancies?" I asked. "If you would try to fix your mind upon
something, however unimportant, it might create an interest and give
you food for thought."
"Are not other people haunted like I am?"
"Many, I dare say. We all should be, if we did not resolve not to be.
Why, were I to encourage superstitious feelings, I could make myself
the most unhappy wretch in the world in less than a week. Will was
given us expressly that we might control our humours, and passions, and
weaknesses. You have the will; you only want the resolution to exercise
it."
"What can my will do for me? If I were to grind my teeth and clench my
hands, and declare I _would_ not think, could I stop thinking? Oh! it
is enough to drive me mad!"
She began to talk to herself and moved about the room, prowling rather
than walking; looking uneasily above, then staring at herself in the
glass, shaking her head and catching at the fingers of her left hand.
Suddenly she stopped, and called out. "Why will you look at me, Arthur?
You are growing unkind. You used not to look at me before like that."
And she began to sob.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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