But time was passing. The wind began to rise. At first Dan felt nothing
of it as he stood in his deep tomb. He could hear its thin hiss over the
mouth of the shaft, and that was all. But presently the hiss deepened to
a sough. Dan had often heard of the wind's sob. It was a reality, and no
metaphor, as he listened to the wind now. The wind began to descend.
With a great swoop it came down the shaft, licked the walls, gathered
voice from the echoing water at the bottom, struggled for escape, roared
like a caged lion, and was once more sucked up to the surface, with a
noise like the breaking of a huge wave over a reef. The tumult of the
wind in the shaft was hard to bear, but when it was gone it was the
silence that seemed to be deafening. Then the rain began to fall. Dan
knew this by the quick, monotonous patter overhead. But no rain touched
him. It was driven aslant by the wind, and fell only against the
uppermost part of the walls of the shaft. Sometimes a soft thin shower
fell over him. It was like a spray from a cataract, except that the
volume of water from which it came was above and not beneath him.
It was then in the deadly sickness of fear that there came to Dan the
dread of miscarrying forever if he should die now. He seemed to see what
it was to die unredeemed. Not to be forgiven, but to be forever
accursed, to be cut off from the living that live in God's peace?--the
dead darkness of that doom stood up before him. Life had looked very
dear to him before, but what now of everlasting death? He was as one who
was dead before his death came. Live he could not, die he dared not. His
past life rose up in front of him, and he drank of memory's very dregs.
It was all so fearsome and strange that as he recalled its lost hours
one by one it was as if he were a stranger to himself. He saw himself,
like Esau, who for a morsel of meat had sold his birthright, and could
thereafter find no acceptance, though he sought it with tears. The
Scripture leaped to his mind which says, "It is a fearful thing to fall
into the hands of the living God."
And then from the past to the future his mind went on in a rapid and
ceaseless whirl. He saw himself fleeing as from the face of a dreadful
judge. Tossed with the terror of a dreadful doom, he saw his place in
the world, cold, empty, forsaken. He saw his old father, too, the
saintly Bishop, living under the burden of a thousand sorrows, while he
who was the life of the good man's life, but his no longer, was a
restless, wandering soul, coming as a cold blast of wind between him and
his heaven. That thought was the worst terror of all, and Dan heard a
cry burst from his throat that roused echoes of horror in the dark pit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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