It was not for him to cringe and sue to a prisoner to come out of that
foul hole, och! no; and the Bishop's sumner inflated his choking chest
and went back for another pipe. But half an hour later the night had
closed in, and old Gorry, with a lantern in his hand, was at the door of
Dan's prison again.
"To tell the truth, sir," he muttered, "I can't get lave for a wink of
sleep up yonder, and if you don't come up to the fire I wouldn't trust
but I'll be forced to stay down here in the cold myself."
Before Dan could make answer there came a loud knocking from overhead.
In another moment the key of the door had turned in its lock from
without, and Gorry's uncertain footfall was retreating on the steps.
When Dan had first been left alone in his dark cell he had cast himself
down on the broad slab cut from the rock, which was his only seat and
bed. His suspense was over; the weight of uncertainty was lifted from
his brain; and he tried to tell himself that he had done well. He
thought of Ewan now with other feelings than before--of his uprightness,
his tenderness, his brotherly affection, his frequent intercession, and
no less frequent self-sacrifice. Then he thought of his own headlong
folly, his blank insensitiveness, his cold ingratitude, and, last of
all, of his blundering passion and mad wrath. All else on both sides was
blotted from his memory in that hour of dark searching. Alone with his
crime--tortured no more by blind hopes of escaping its penalty, or dread
misgivings as to the measure of his guilt--his heart went out to the
true friend whose life he had taken with a great dumb yearning and a
bitter remorse. No cruel voice whispered now in palliation of his
offense that it had not been murder, but the accident of self-defense.
He had proposed the fight that ended with Ewan's death, and, when Ewan
would have abandoned it, he, on his part, would hear of no truce. Murder
it was; and, bad as murder is at the best, this murder had been, of all
murders, most base and foul. Yes, he had done well. Here alone could he
know one hour of respite from terrible thoughts. This dark vault was his
only resting-place until he came to lie in the last resting-place of
all. There could be no going back. Life was forever closed against him.
He had spilled the blood of the man who had loved him with more than a
brother's love, and to whom his own soul had been grappled with hooks of
steel. It was enough, and the sick certainty of the doom before him was
easiest to bear.
It was with thoughts like these that Dan had spent his first hours in
prison, and when old Gorry had interrupted them time after time with
poor little troubles about the freezing cold of the pestilential place
he hardly saw through the old man's simulation into the tender bit of
human nature that lay behind it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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