The Definite Object: A Romance of New YorkFarnol, Jeffery
General
The Definite Object: A Romance of New York
Farnol, Jeffery
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Shucks, Mr. Geoffrey! That sure don't want no explainin'. When you said
all you did say to her, did y' say anything about 'wife' or 'marriage'?"
"Why, of course I did!"
"Sure?"
"Yes--er--that is--I think so."
"Not sure then?"
"Well, I may have done so--I must have done so, but really
I--er--forget--"
"Forget!" Mrs. Trapes snorted. "Now look-a-here, Mr. Geoffrey, what d'
ye want with Hermy; is it a wife you're after or only--"
"Mrs. Trapes!" Ravenslee was upon his feet, and before the sudden glare
in his eyes Mrs. Trapes gaped and for once fell silent. "Mrs. Trapes,"
said he, still frowning a little, "really you--you almost--made me
angry."
"My land!" said she, "I'm kind o' glad I didn't--quite!" and her sniff
was eloquent.
"You see," he went on, glancing down at the letter again, "I've learned
to love and reverence her so much that your suggestion--hurt rather!"
"Why, then, Mr. Geoffrey, I'm sorry. But if your love is so big an' true
as all that--if you want her t' be a wife t' you--why in the 'tarnal
didn't ye speak out an' tell her so?"
"I'll go and tell her so this minute."
"Y' can't! She's gone t' Bronx Park with that b'y, 'n' won't be back
all day."
"Damn!" exclaimed Ravenslee.
"Sure!" nodded Mrs. Trapes. "Keep on, it'll do ye good. But anyway, what
y' got t' say'll keep, I guess--it'll gush out all the stronger fer
bein' bottled up a day or two."
"I can write!" he suggested.
"You can--but you won't--you'll tell her with your two lips--a woman
likes it better spoke--if spoke proper--I should! With arms entwined an'
eyes lookin' into eyes an'--oh, shucks! Will angel cake an' strawberry
jam--"
"They'll be ample, and--thank you, dear Mrs. Trapes!"
CHAPTER XXIV
HOW THE OLD UN AND CERTAIN OTHERS HAD TEA
"Old Un," said Joe, halting his aged companion in the middle of the
second flight to wag a portentous finger, "Old Un, mind this now--if
there should 'appen to be cake for tea, don't go makin' a ancient beast
of yourself with it--no slippin' lumps of it into your pocket on the
sly, mind, because if I ketch ye at it--"
"Don't be 'arsh, Joe, don't be 'arsh! Cake comes soft t' me pore old
teef."
"An' mind this again--if there should be any jam about, no stickin' ye
wicked old fingers into it an' lickin' 'em behind my back."
"You lemme an' the jam alone, Joe; it's a free country, ain't it?--very
well, then!"
"Free country be blowed! You mind what I say, you venerable old bag of
iniquity, you!"
"'Niquity yerself!" snarled the Old Un, and snapping bony finger and
thumb under Joe's massive chin, turned and went on up the stairs, his
smart straw hat cocked at a defiant angle, his brilliant shoes creaking
loudly at every step.
"Oh, Gorramighty!" he panted, halting suddenly on the fifth landing to
get his breath, "these perishin' stairs 'as ketched my wind, Joe; it's
worse 'n th' treadmill! Is there many more of 'em?"
"Only six flights!" nodded Joe grimly.
"Six!" wailed the Old Un. "Lord--it'll be the death o' me!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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