The Definite Object: A Romance of New YorkFarnol, Jeffery
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The Definite Object: A Romance of New York
Farnol, Jeffery
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Well, for th' love o' heaven!" she exclaimed, and down fell her
knitting.
"Now you've dropped it!" said Ravenslee a little petulantly.
"Your very--identical--words!" said Mrs. Trapes in awed tones. "Nacher
sure 'moves in a mysterious way her wonders to perform'!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean as them was the identical words as you addressed to me when you
took th' turn two days ago!"
"Two days!" exclaimed Ravenslee, staring.
"Ever since you did take the turn two days ago, you've laid there so
quiet an' peaceful--no more dreams an' ravin'--you've jest laid there
'wrapped in infant slumbers pure an' light', Mr. Geoffrey--Ravenslee,
I mean."
"Why then, it's about time I got up. If you'll kindly--er--retire and
send Patterson, I'll get dressed."
"Dressed?" echoed Mrs. Trapes, hollow-voiced and grim. "Get up? Lord,
Mr. Geoffrey!"
"Certainly. Why not?"
"What, you--you as is only jest out o' the valley o' th' shadder! You
as we've all give up for dead over an' over! You get up? Lord, Mr.
Geoffrey--I mean Ravenslee!"
"Oh," said Ravenslee, knitting his dark brows thoughtfully, "have I been
sick long?"
"Four weeks."
"Weeks!" he exclaimed, staring incredulously.
"Four weeks an' a bit! For four weary, woeful weeks you've been layin'
here with death hoverin' over you, Mr. Geoffrey. For four long weeks
we've been waitin' for ye t' draw your las' breath, Mr. Ravenslee. For
four 'eart-rendin' weeks your servants has been carryin' on below stairs
an' robbin' you somethin' shameful."
"My servants? Oh, yes, they generally do. But tell me--"
"The amount o' food as they consoom constant! The waste! The
extravagance! Th' beer an' wine an' sperrits they swaller! Them is sure
the thirstiest menials ever I heard tell of! An' the butler--such airs,
such a appetite! An' sherry an' bitters t' make it worse! Lord, Mr.
Geoffrey, your servants sure is a ravenin' horde!"
"Don't be too hard on 'em, Mrs. Trapes," he answered gravely, "I'm
afraid I've neglected them quite a good deal. But it's a woman's hand
they need over them."
"It's a pleeceman's club they need on 'em--frequent! I'd learn 'em
different, I guess--"
"So you shall, Mrs. Trapes, if you will. You are precisely the kind of
housekeeper I need."
"What--me?"
"You, Mrs. Trapes. A lonely bachelor needs some one to--er take care of
his servants for him, to see they don't overeat themselves too often;
or--er--strain themselves spring-cleaning out of season--or--"
"But you got a wife t' do all that for you. I guess Hermy'll know how to
manage."
"Hermione!" said Ravenslee, starting, "wife? Am I really--married?"
"Sure! Didn't she go an' let you wed her when we all thought you was
dyin'?"
"Oh, did she?" said he very gently. "Why then, it--it wasn't all a
dream?"
"Mr. Geoffrey, Hermy's been Mrs. Ravenslee, your lawful wedded wife,
just exactly four weeks."
Ravenslee stared up at the ceiling, dreamy-eyed.
"Good heavens!" he murmured. "I thought I'd only dreamed it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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