The Definite Object: A Romance of New YorkFarnol, Jeffery
General
The Definite Object: A Romance of New York
Farnol, Jeffery
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Mercenary!" cried Mrs. Trapes, "I should say not! I tell ye, she could
be a-rollin' around in a six-thousand-dollar automobile at this very
hour if she was that kind. With her face an' figure! She could so!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean as there's men--rich men, an' married too--as is mad after
her--"
"Ah!" said Ravenslee, frowning again.
"You may well say 'ah!'" nodded Mrs. Trapes. "Men is all beasts more or
less! Why, I could tell you things--well, there! Hermy ain't no innocent
babe but there's some things better than innocence an' that's a
chin--will-power, Mr. Geoffrey. If a woman's sweet an' strong an'
healthy like Hermy, an' got a chin--nothin' can harm her. But beauty
like hers is a curse to any good woman if she's poor, beauty being a
quick-seller, y' see!"
"Yes, I see--I know!" said Ravenslee, clenching his hands and frowning
blacker than ever.
"But," continued Mrs. Trapes, and here she leaned forward to touch him
with an impressive, toil-worn hand, "Hermy Chesterton's jest a angel o'
light an' purity; she always has been an' always will be, but she knows
about as much as a good girl can know. She's seen the worst o' poverty,
an' she's made up her mind, when she marries, to marry a man as is a man
an' can give her all the money she wants. So y' see it ain't no good you
wastin' your time danglin' around after her an' sighin'--now is it?"
"Why, no, Mrs. Trapes, I think I'll speak to her to-night--"
"My land! ain't I jest been tryin' to show you as you ain't a fit or
worthy party to speak, an' as you won't have a chance if you do speak,
her 'eart bein' set on wealth? But you can't speak--you won't speak--I
know you won't!"
"Why not?"
"First, because t' night she's away at Englewood makin' a dress for Mrs.
Crawley as is very fond of her. An' second, because you ain't the man to
ask a girl to marry him when he ain't got nothin' t' keep her on--you
know you ain't!"
"Which brings us back to the undoubted fact that I must get a job--at
once."
"Hm!" said, Mrs. Trapes, viewing his clean-cut features and powerful
figure with approval, "what could y' do?"
"Anything, so long as I can make good, Mrs. Trapes. What should you
suggest?"
"Well," said Mrs. Trapes, caressing an elbow thoughtfully, "grocers'
assistants makes good money--an' I know Mr. Smith wants a butterman."
"Good," nodded Ravenslee, "I should like to batter butter about--"
"Are ye used to butter?"
"Oh, I've a decided taste for it!"
"Know much about it?"
"Certainly--it is a yellowish, fatty substance concocted by human agency
supposedly from the lacteous secretion of the graminivorous quadruped
familiarly known as the common (or garden) cow."
"Land sakes!" said Mrs. Trapes, drawing a deep breath, "you sure do know
something about it. Ever worked in it before?"
"Only with my teeth."
"Oh--quit your jollying, Mr. Geoffrey, if you want me t' help you!"
"Solemn as an owl, Mrs. Trapes!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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