"Well, sir, what with the rheumatix an' a stiff j'int or two an' a touch o' lumbager, not to mention all my other ailments, I ain't quite s' spry as I was!" "But you look very well!" "That's where your heyes deceives you, Guv. A great sufferer I be, though patient under haffliction, ho, yus--except for a swear now an' then which do me a power o' good--yus! If I was to tell you all the woes as my poor old carkiss is hair to, you could write a book on 'em--a big 'un. I got everything the matter wi' me, I 'ave, from a thick ear an' broke nose as I took in Brummagem sixty an' five years ago to a hactive liver." "A what?" enquired Ravenslee. "A hactive liver. Lord, Guv, my liver gets that hactive lately as I can't set still--Joe knows, ax Joe! All as I ain't got o' human woes is toothache, not 'avin' no teeth to ache, y' see, an' them s' rotten as it 'ud make yer 'eart bleed. An' then I get took short o' breath--look at me now, dang it!" "Why, then, sit down, Old Un," said Ravenslee, drawing up a somewhat worn armchair. "Joe and I are going at it hard and fast this afternoon, and I want you to time the rounds." And he proceeded to remove his garments. "Oh, j'y!" cried the Old Un, hugging himself in bony arms. "Oh, j'yful words. Ah, but you peels like a good un, sir," he croaked, viewing white flesh and bulging muscle with knowing old eyes, "good an' long in the arm an' wide slope o' shoulder. You might ha' done well in the ring if you'd been blessed wi' poverty an' I'd 'ad the 'andling of ye--a world's unbeat champion, like Joe. A good fighter were I an' a wonnerful trainer! Ho, yus, I might ha' made a top-notcher of ye if you 'adn't been cursed wi' money." "I suppose," said Ravenslee thoughtfully, "I suppose Joe was one of the best all-round fighting men that ever climbed into a ring?" "Ah--that 'e were! Joe were better 'n the best--only don't let 'im 'ear me say so, 'e 'd be that puffed up--Lord! But nobody could beat Joe--black, yaller or white; they all tried danged 'ard, but Joe were a world-beater--y' see, I trained Joe! An' to-day 'e 's as good as ever 'e was. Y' see, Joe's allus lived clean, sir, consequent Joe's sound, wind an' limb. Joe could go back an' beat all these fancy bruisers and stringy young champs to-day--if 'e only would--but don't let 'im 'ear me say so." "You're fond of Joe, Old Un?" "An' why for not, sir--s' long as 'e don't know it? Didn't 'e look arter poor old me when 'e 'ad money, an' when 'e lost everything, didn't 'e look arter me still? An' now 'e 's your shuvver, don' 'e keep a roof over me poor old 'ead like a son--don't 'e give me the run o' jour garridge an' let me watch 'im spar wi' you an' your gentlemen friends? Ain't 'e the best an' truest-'earted man as ever drawed breath? Ah, a king o' men is Joe, in the ring an' out, sir--only never let 'im 'ear me say so--'e 'd be that proud, Lord! there'd be no livin' wi' 'im--sh, 'ere 'e be, sir."