55. But Ctesibius the Chalcidian, the friend of Menedemus, as Antigonus the Carystian relates in his Lives, being asked by somebody, What he had ever got by philosophy? replied, The power of getting a supper without contributing to it himself. On which account Timon somewhere or other said to him-- Oh you mad dinner hunter, with the eyes Of a dead corpse, and heart both bold and shameless. And Ctesibius was a man who made very good guesses, and was a very witty man, and a sayer of amusing things; on which account every one used to invite him to their parties; he was not a man like you, you Cynic, who never sacrificed to the Graces, nor even to the Muses. And therefore Virtue avoiding you, and all like you, sits by Pleasure, as Mnasalces, the Sicyonian says, in his Epigrams-- Here I most miserable Virtue sit By Pleasure's side, and cut my hair for grief, Crush'd in my spirit; for profane Delight Is judged by all my better, and my chief. And Baton the comic writer says in his Homicide-- Now I invite those moderate philosophers, Who ne'er allow themselves a single pleasure, Who keep on looking for the one wise man In all their walks and conversations, As if he were a slave who'd run away. O wretched man, why, when you have a ticket, Will you refuse to drink? Why dost thou now Do so much wrong to the Gods? why dost thou make Money of greater value than the rate Which nature puts on it? You drink but water, And so must be a worthless citizen; For so you cheat the farmer and the merchant; But I by getting drunk increase their trade. Then you at early dawn bear round a cruet, Seeking for oil, so that a man must think You have an hour-glass with you, not a bottle.) 56. However, Archestratus, as I was saying before this long digression, whom you praise as equal to Homer, because of his praises of the stomach--though your friend Timon says of the stomach, Than which no part more shameless can be found-- when speaking of the Sea-dog, writes as follows:-- There are but few so happy as to know This godlike food, nor do men covet it Who have the silly souls of common mortals. They fear because it is an animal Which living preys on man. But every fish Loves human flesh, if it can meet with it. So that 'tis fit that all who talk such nonsense Should be confined to herbs, and should be sent To Diodorus the philosopher And starve, and so pythagorize with him.