Under the χῶρος λοπάδων. All this demands such skill, as wields The veteran chief of hard-won fields! Who rules the roast might rule the seas, Or _baste_ his foes with equal ease; And cooks who're equal to a _rout_, Might take a town, or storm redout.—W. J. B. _The same._ _Cook._ Our art is not entirely despicable, If you examine it, good Demylus; But the pursuit has been run down, and all Almost, however stupid, say they're cooks; And by such cheats as these the art is ruin'd. For, if you take a veritable cook, Well brought up to his business from a boy, And skilful in the properties of things, And knowing all the usual sciences; Then the affair will seem quite different. We are the only three remaining ones— Chariades, and Bœdion, and I. A fico for the rest! _Gent._ What's that you say? _Cook._ What, _I_? 'Tis we that keep up Sicon's school, Who was the head and founder of the art. He used to teach us first of all astronomy; Next after that directly, architecture; Confining all he said to natural science. Then, to conclude, he lectured upon tactics. All this he made us learn before the art. _Gent._ Dear sir, d'ye mean to worry me to death? _Cook._ No; while the slave is coming back from market, I'll rouse your curiosity a little Upon the subject, that we thus may seize This most convenient time for conversation. _Gent._ By Phœbus, but you'll find it a hard matter! _Cook._ Listen, good sir. Firstly, the cook must know "Astronomy,"—the settings and the risings Of all the stars, and when the sun comes back Both to the longest and the shortest day, And through what constellations he is passing. For nearly every kind of meat and food Deceives, they say, a varying gout within it During the revolution of the system. So he that knows all this, will see the season, And use each article just as he ought; But he that does not, will be justly thump'd. Again, perhaps, you wonder as to "architecture," How it can aid the art of cookery? _Gent._ I know it. 'Tis most strange. _Cook._ Yet I'll explain it. To plan the kitchen rightly and receive As much light as you want, and see from whence The draught is, does good service in the business. The driving of the smoke, now here, now there, Makes a material difference when you're boiling. Why should I, then, go on to prove that "tactics" Are needful to the Cook? Good order's good In every station and in every art; In ours, it almost is the leading point. The serving up, and the removing all things In order, and the seeing when's the time Either to introduce them quick or slowly,