England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Political fiction
He made his way to his club, mounted to the quiet library, where he
would be undisturbed by the chatter of acquaintances, and pulling up an
arm-chair before a fire-place in a dark corner, gave himself up to the
grim task of reconstructing his life. A new devastating element had come
into his sphere--Lizzie. In the days before his friendship with Lady
Phayre his wife had counted for little in his earnest life. He regretted
her unhappiness, did what lay in his power to remedy the irremediable
mistake of his marriage; but never desiring freedom, the bond scarcely
troubled him. Even during the sweetness of his intercourse with Lady
Phayre it had galled him but little. She was so far above him, the
feelings with which he regarded her were so new to his almost original
experience that he had not realised that he loved her after the common
way of men. In the serenity of Lady Phayre’s atmosphere Lizzie counted
for no more than the little bare top-room in which he had once lived,
his early memories of hardship and struggle with poverty. But now when
the idyll was over, when he felt the man’s fierce passion for the woman
that was lost to him, the other woman who stood between counted as a
terrible, resistless force.
He gazed with set features into the fire. It faded, and in its place
rose the scene of that night when the two women had met. One face noble,
intellectual, pure in outline; the other, sodden, coarse, and bestial.
He gripped the arms of his chair, and a half groan came from his lips.
A loathing of the woman to whom he was bound arose within him like a
nausea.
Then anger shook him--anger at the folly of his marriage; anger at the
coarse nature of his wife, at her father’s drunkenness, at the pretty
baby face that had caught his raw fancy--anger, too, at Lady Phayre. Why
had she sought him out? Why had she lured him on to enslave himself to
her? Anger at her scorn of him, at her fine-lady sensitiveness that was
revolted at the sight of a drunken shrew. Anger at her having led him
into the fool’s paradise only to eject him ignominiously.
A slight tap on his shoulder aroused him. He started round: the anger
that was hot within him turned against the disturber. It was Gleam.
“I have been looking round the club for some one to dine with. Come
along,” he said in his friendly way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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