“So he steered the auto into the barn, and Simeon got busy. Judgin' by
the sharp language that drifted out through the door, 'twas plain that
the shofer was superintendin' all right.
“Jonadab heaves in sight, bowin', and makes proclamation that dinner
is served. The pair riz up majestic and headed for the dinin' room. The
woman was a little astern of her man, and in the hall she turns brisk to
me.
“'Mr. Wingate,' she whispers, 'Mr. Wingate.'
“I stared at her. Her voice had sounded sort of familiar ever sence I
heard it, but the veil kept a body from seein' what she looked like.
“'Hey?' I sings out. 'Have I ever--'
“'S-s-h-h!' she whispers. 'Say, Mr. Wingate, that--that Susannah thing
is here, ain't she? Have her wait on us, will you, please?'
“And she swept the veil off her face. I choked up and staggered bang!
against the wall. I swan to man if it wa'n't Effie! EFFIE, in silks and
automobiles and gorgeousness!
“Afore I could come to myself the two of 'em marched into that dining
room. I heard a grunt and a 'Land of love!' from just ahead of me. That
was Jonadab. And from all around that dinin' room come a sort of gasp
and then the sound of whisperin'. That was the help.
“They took a table by the window, which had been made ready. Down they
set like a king and a queen perchin' on thrones. One of the waiter girls
went over to em.
“But I'd come out of my trance a little mite. The situation was miles
ahead of my brain, goodness knows, but the joke of it all was gettin' a
grip on me. I remembered what Effie had asked and I spoke up prompt.
“'Susannah,' says I, 'this is a particular job and we're anxious to
please. You'd better do the waitin' yourself.'
“I wish you could have seen the glare that ex-housekeeper give me. For
a second I thought we'd have open mutiny. But her place wa'n't any too
sartin and she didn't dare risk it. Over she walked to that table, and
the fun began.
“Jonadab had laid himself out to make that meal a success, but they ate
it as if 'twas pretty poor stuff and not by no means what they fed on
every day. They found fault with 'most everything, but most especial
with Susannah's waitin'. My! how they did order her around--a mate on a
cattle boat wa'n't nothin' to it. And when 'twas all over and they got
up to go, Effie says, so's all hands can hear:
“'The food here is not so bad, but the service--oh, horrors! However,
Albert,' says she to the side-whiskered man, 'you had better give the
girl our usual tip. She looks as if she needed it, poor thing!'
“Then they paraded out of the room, and I see Susannah sling the half
dollar the man had left on the table clear to Jericho, it seemed like.
“The auto was waitin' by the piazza steps. The shofer and Butler was
standin' by it. And when Sim see Effie with her veil throwed back he
pretty nigh fell under the wheels he'd been washin' so hard. And he
looked as if he wisht they'd run over him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account