New York (State) -- Fiction; West (U.S.) -- Fiction
The eyes she sought to question hardened under her gaze. Here, too, was
a veil. Mrs. Bogardus sat with her hands clasped in her lap. She was
motionless, but the creaking of her silks could be heard as her bosom
rose and fell. After a moment she said: “Paul's tray is on the table in
the dining-room. Will you take it when you go up?”
Moya altered her own manner instantly. “But you?” she hesitated. “I must
not crowd you out of all your mother privileges. You have handed over
everything to me.”
“A mother's privilege is to see herself no longer needed. I can do
nothing more for my son”--her smile was hard--“except take care of his
money.”
“Paul's mother!”
“My dear, do you suppose we mind? It is a very great privilege to be
allowed to step aside when your work is done.”
“Paul's _mother!_” Moya insisted.
Mrs. Bogardus rose. “You don't remember your own mother, my dear. You
have an exaggerated idea of the--the importance of mothers. They are
only a temporary arrangement.” She put out her hands and the girl's
cheek touched hers for an instant; then she straightened herself and
walked calmly out of the room. Moya remained a little longer, afraid
to follow her. “If she would not smile! If she would do anything but
smile!”
Paul was walking about his room, half an hour later, when Moya stopped
outside his door. She placed the tray on a table in the hall. The door
was opened from within. Paul had heard his mother go up before, heard
her pause at the stairs, and, after a silence, enter her own room.
“She knows that I know,” he said to himself. “That knowledge will be
always between us; we can never look each other in the face again.” To
Moya he endeavored to speak lightly.
“It sounded very gay downstairs to-night. You must have had a houseful.”
“I have been with your mother the last hour,” answered Moya, vaguely on
the defensive. Since Paul's return there had been little of the old free
intercourse in words between them, and without this outlet their mutual
consciousness became acute. Often as they saw each other during the day,
the keenest emotion attached to the first meeting of their eyes.
Paul was unnerved by his sudden recall from death to life. Its contrasts
were overwhelming to his starved senses: from the dirt and dearth and
grimy despair of his burial hutch in the snow to this softly lighted,
close-curtained room, warm and sweet with flowers; from the gaunt,
unshaven spectre of the packer and his ghostly revelations, to Moya,
meekly beautiful, her bright eyes lowered as she trailed her soft skirts
across the carpet; Moya seated opposite, silent, conscious of him
in every look and movement. Her lovely hands lay in her lap, and the
thought of holding them in his made him tremble; and when he recalled
the last time he had kissed her he grew faint. He longed to throw
off this exhausting self-restraint, but feared to betray his helpless
passion which he deemed an insult to his soul's worship of her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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