Lenore did precisely as she had done a few nights before, when she had
changed the world for him. But, following her kiss, there was a terrible
instant when, with her arms around his neck, she went blind at the
realization of loss. She held to him with a savage intensity of
possession. It was like giving up life. She knew then, as never before,
that she had the power to keep him at her side. But a thought saved her
from exerting it--the thought that she could not make him less than
other men--and so she conquered.
"Lenore, I want you to think always--how you loved me," he said.
"Loved you? Oh, my boy! It seems your lot has been hard. You've
toiled--you've lost all--and now..."
"Listen," he interrupted, and she had never heard his voice like that.
"The thousands of boys who go to fight regard it a duty. For our
country!... I had that, but more.... My father was German... and he was
a traitor. The horror for me is that I hate what is German in _me_.... I
will have to kill that. But you've helped me.... I know I'm American.
I'll do my duty, whatever it is. I would have gone to war only a beast
with my soul killed before I ever got there.... With no hope--no
possibility of return!... But you love me!... Can't you see--how great
the difference?"
Lenore understood and felt it in his happiness. "Yes, Kurt, I know....
Thank God, I've helped you.... I want you to go. I'll pray always. I
believe you will come back to me.... Life could not be so utterly
cruel..." She broke off.
"Life can't rob me now--nor death," he cried, in exaltation. "I have
your love. Your face will always be with me--as now--lovely and
brave!... Not a tear!... And only that sweet smile like an angel's!...
Oh, Lenore, what a girl you are!"
"Say good-by--and go," she faltered. Another moment would see her
weaken.
"Yes, I must hurry." His voice was a whisper--almost gone. He drew a
deep breath. "Lenore--my promised wife--my star for all the black
nights--God bless you--keep you!... Good-by!"
She spent all her strength in her embrace, all her soul in the passion
of her farewell kiss. Then she stood alone, tottering, sinking. The
swift steps, now heavy and uneven, passed out of the hall--the door
closed--the motor-car creaked and rolled away--the droning hum ceased.
For a moment of despairing shock, before the storm broke, Lenore blindly
wavered there, unable to move from the spot that had seen the beginning
and the end of her brief hour of love. Then she summoned strength to
drag herself to her room, to lock her door.
Alone! In the merciful darkness and silence and loneliness!... She need
not lie nor play false nor fool herself here. She had let him go!
Inconceivable and monstrous truth! For what?... It was not now with her,
that deceiving spirit which had made her brave. But she was a woman. She
fell upon her knees beside her bed, shuddering.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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