That shell had exploded close to the place where Dorn stood. It
terrified him. It reduced him to a palpitating, stricken wretch, utterly
unable to cope with the terror. It was not what he had expected. What
were words, anyhow? By words alone he had understood this shell thing.
Death was only a word, too. But to be blown to atoms! It came every
moment to some poor devil; it might come to him. But that was not
fighting. Somewhere off in the blackness a huge iron monster belched
this hell out upon defenseless men. Revolting and inconceivable truth!
It was Dorn's ordeal that his mentality robbed this hour of novelty and
of adventure, that while his natural, physical fear incited panic and
nausea and a horrible, convulsive internal retching, his highly
organized, exquisitely sensitive mind, more like a woman's in its
capacity for emotion, must suffer through imagining the infinite agonies
that he might really escape. Every shell then must blow him to bits;
every agony of every soldier must be his.
But he knew what his duty was, and as soon as he could move he began to
edge along the short beat. Once at the end he drew a deep and shuddering
breath, and, fighting all his involuntary instincts, he peered over the
top. An invisible thing whipped close over his head. It did not whistle;
it cut. Out in front of him was only thick, pale gloom, with spectral
forms, leading away to the horizon, where flares, like sheet-lightning
of a summer night's storm, ran along showing smoke and bold, ragged
outlines. Then he went to the other end to peer over there. His eyes
were keen, and through long years of habit at home, going about at night
without light, he could see distinctly where ordinary sight would meet
only a blank wall. The flat ground immediately before him was bare of
living or moving objects. That was his duty as sentinel here--to make
sure of no surprise patrol from the enemy lines. It helped Dorn to
realize that he could accomplish this duty even though he was in a
torment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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