Soon he would be walking a beat in one of the training-camps, with a
bugle-call in his ears and the turmoil of thousands of soldiers in the
making around him: soon, too, he would be walking the deck of a
transport, looking back down the moon-blanched wake of the ship toward
home, listening to the mysterious moan of the ocean; and then soon
feeling under his feet the soil of a foreign country, with hideous and
incomparable war shrieking its shell furies and its man anguish all
about him. But no matter how far away he ever got, he knew Lenore
Anderson would be with him as she was there on that dim, lonely starlit
country road.
And in these long hours of his vigil Kurt Dorn divined a relation
between his love for Lenore Anderson and a terrible need that had grown
upon him. A need of his heart and his soul! More than he needed her, if
even in his wildest dreams he had permitted himself visions of an
earthly paradise, he needed to prove to his blood and his spirit that he
was actually and truly American. He had no doubt of his intelligence,
his reason, his choice. The secret lay hidden in the depths of him, and
he knew it came from the springs of the mother who had begotten him. His
mother had given him birth, and by every tie he was mostly hers.
Kurt had been in college during the first year of the world war. And his
name, his fair hair and complexion, his fluency in German, and his
remarkable efficiency in handicrafts had opened him to many a hint, many
a veiled sarcasm that had stung him like a poison brand. There was
injustice in all this war spirit. It changed the minds of men and women.
He had not doubted himself until those terrible scenes with his father,
and, though he had reacted to them as an American, he had felt the
drawing, burning blood tie. He hated everything German and he knew he
was wrong in doing so. He had clear conception in his mind of the
difference between the German war motives and means, and those of the
other nations.
Kurt's problem was to understand himself. His great fight was with his
own soul. His material difficulties and his despairing love had suddenly
been transformed, so that they had lent his spirit wings. How many poor
boys and girls in America must be helplessly divided between parents and
country! How many faithful and blind parents, obedient to the laws of
mind and heart, set for all time, must see a favorite son go out to
fight against all they had held sacred!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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