The fine, delicate machinery of a human brain, like any man-made
mechanism of great nicety, may readily be thrown into confusion, its
exquisite balance disturbed, its functioning confounded. Thirst,
near-exhaustion, severe bodily distress and, on top of all, blood-lust
anger made Alan Howard over into another man. He was possessed,
obsessed. As the night wore on endlessly he created for himself
visions; he came a thousand times upon the Indian; he sank his fingers
and thumbs into a corded throat; he beat with his fists at the pulp of
a face. He grew accustomed to his own voice, muttering ceaselessly.
He heard himself praying as another man; the burden of his prayers was
always the same: 'Deliver him, O Lord, into mine hands.' He was half
mad for water and he cursed Kish Taka; he drove his body on when the
agonized muscles rebelled and, driving mercilessly, he cursed Kish Taka.
Somehow the night passed and through it he staggered on. He fell as he
had seen the Indian fall; he recalled that the Indian had arisen and he
rose. Each time that he failed in something that he tried to do it was
as though an imp jeered and taunted him, calling to him: 'Ho! The
Indian is a better man. He is off there in the darkness, laughing at
you!'
There came a time when he stumbled at every step, when he pitched
forward frequently and lay inert and had to gather his strength to get
up; when he wondered if he was going mad or if already he had gone mad;
when his thirst was a killing agony and he knew that it was in truth
killing him; when he crawled on his hands and knees up slight slopes;
when the stars danced and he frowned at them stupidly, seeking the
North Star, seeking to know which way led to Kish Taka. When the first
faint glint of dawn sweetened the air he was lying on his back; he
felt, rather than saw, that a new day was blossoming. He collected his
wandering faculties, fought with the lassitude which stole upon him
whenever his senses were not on the alert and sat up. And he would
have cried out aloud at what he saw were not his throat and mouth and
lips so dry that he was beyond calling out. For yonder, a blurred
moving shape came toward him. The shape was a man's, and he knew that
it was Kish Taka.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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