"Oh yes, I shall go at once. I must go somewhere, and with him I'd have
the benefit of a companion."
"But, of course," Saunders flung out, tentatively, "you will not remain
away long?"
"I can't say for sure that I shall _ever_ come back," Mostyn said,
sadly. "Of course, I can't say positively as to that, but there is
nothing--absolutely nothing to hold me here now."
The eyes of the two met in a steady stare.
"You can't mean _that_--I'm sure you can't!" Saunders faltered.
Mostyn seemed about to speak, but a tremor of rising emotion checked
him. He smoked for a moment in silence; then, with a steadier voice, he
began:
"I must be more frank with you, Jarvis," he said. "You have been a true
friend to me, and I don't want to keep anything from you at all.
Besides, this concerns you directly. To tell you this I may be
betraying confidence, but even that, somehow, seems right. Saunders,
to-day at that meeting as I sat there--" Mostyn's voice began to shake
again, and he cleared his throat before going on. "As I sat there
looking at--at the purest, sweetest face God ever made I began to
_hope._ I confess it. I began to hope that God might intend to give me
one other chance at earthly happiness. I even fancied that He might
purposely have led me back here out of my awful darkness into light. I
might not have dared to go so far, but she had her uncle invite me to
lunch, and as I sat by her side the very benediction of Heaven seemed
to fall on her and me and all the rest. It made me bold. I was out of
my head. I was intoxicated by it all. Don't you see, I began to think,
late as it is--shamed as I am before the world--I began to think that I
might again take some sort of root among men and be worthy of--of the
only woman I ever really loved? She and I walked off together. Her
consenting to go gave me fresh courage. I determined to speak. I
determined to throw my soiled soul at her spotless feet. I did."
"Don't say any more; I know the rest," Saunders said, under his breath.
"I congratulate you. I congratulate you with all my heart." He held out
his hand, but Mostyn warded it off, his cigar cutting red zigzag lines
in the darkness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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