English language -- Dictionaries -- Humor; English language -- Semantics -- Humor; Vocabulary -- Humor
REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; as an elderly maiden's hand
in marriage, to a rich and handsome suitor; a valuable franchise to a
rich corporation, by an alderman; absolution to an impenitent king, by
a priest, and so forth. Refusals are graded in a descending scale of
finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal conditional, the
refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by
some casuists the refusal assentive.
REGALIA, n. Distinguishing insignia, jewels and costume of such
ancient and honorable orders as Knights of Adam; Visionaries of
Detectable Bosh; the Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes; the League
of Holy Humbug; the Golden Phalanx of Phalangers; the Genteel Society
of Expurgated Hoodlums; the Mystic Alliances of Gorgeous Regalians;
Knights and Ladies of the Yellow Dog; the Oriental Order of Sons of
the West; the Blatherhood of Insufferable Stuff; Warriors of the Long
Bow; Guardians of the Great Horn Spoon; the Band of Brutes; the
Impenitent Order of Wife-Beaters; the Sublime Legion of Flamboyant
Conspicuants; Worshipers at the Electroplated Shrine; Shining
Inaccessibles; Fee-Faw-Fummers of the Inimitable Grip; Jannissaries of
the Broad-Blown Peacock; Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple; the
Grand Cabal of Able-Bodied Sedentarians; Associated Deities of the
Butter Trade; the Garden of Galoots; the Affectionate Fraternity of
Men Similarly Warted; the Flashing Astonishers; Ladies of Horror;
Cooperative Association for Breaking into the Spotlight; Dukes of Eden;
Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith; Knights-Champions of the
Domestic Dog; the Holy Gregarians; the Resolute Optimists; the Ancient
Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs; Associated Sovereigns of Mendacity;
Dukes-Guardian of the Mystic Cess-Pool; the Society for Prevention of
Prevalence; Kings of Drink; Polite Federation of Gents-Consequential;
the Mysterious Order of the Undecipherable Scroll; Uniformed Rank of
Lousy Cats; Monarchs of Worth and Hunger; Sons of the South Star;
Prelates of the Tub-and-Sword.
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the
nature of the Unknowable.
"What is your religion my son?" inquired the Archbishop of Rheims.
"Pardon, monseigneur," replied Rochebriant; "I am ashamed of it."
"Then why do you not become an atheist?"
"Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism."
"In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants."
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