The Devil's Own: A Romance of the Black Hawk WarParrish, Randall
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The Devil's Own: A Romance of the Black Hawk War
Parrish, Randall
Black Hawk War, 1832 -- Fiction
"But why not? It would not be a cowardly act at all. I could not
blame you, for I have no claim on your service--never have had. You
have done a thousand times too much already; you have risked honor,
reputation, and neglected duty to aid my escape; and--and I am nothing
to you--can be nothing."
"Nothing to me!"
"Certainly not. Why speak like that? Have you forgotten again that I
am a slave--a negress? Think, Lieutenant Knox, what it would mean to
you to be caught in my company; to be overtaken while attempting to
assist me in escaping from my master. Now no one dreams of such a
thing, and no one ever need dream. You have had your adventure; let it
end here. I shall be grateful to you always, but--but I cannot bear to
drag you deeper into this mire."
"You order me to leave you?"
"I cannot order; I am a slave. My only privilege is to request, urge,
implore. I can merely insist that it will be best--best for us
both--for you to go. Surely you also must realize that this is true?"
"I do not know exactly what I realize," I said doubtfully. "Nothing
seems altogether clear in my mind. If I could leave you in safety, in
the care of friends, perhaps I should not hesitate--but now--"
"Am I any worse off than the others?" she interrupted. "I, at least,
have yet the chance of escape, while they remain helplessly in Kirby's
clutches. When--when I think of them, I no longer care about myself;
I--I feel almost responsible for their fate, and--and it would kill me
to know that I had dragged you down also. You have no right to
sacrifice yourself for such as I."
"You have been brooding over all this," I said gently, "sitting here
alone, and thinking while we worked. I am not going to answer you now.
There is no need. Nothing can be done until night, whatever we decide
upon. You will go back with us to the boat?"
"Yes; I simply cannot stay here," her eyes wandering toward the cabin.
I took the lead on the return, finding the path easy enough to follow
in the full light of day. The sincere honesty of her plea--the
knowledge that she actually meant it--only served to draw me closer, to
strengthen my determination not to desert. Her face was ever before me
as I advanced--a bravely pathetic face, wonderfully womanly in its
girlish contour--appealing to every impulse of my manhood. I admitted
the truth of what she said--it had been largely love of adventure, the
rash recklessness of youth, which had brought me here. But this was my
inspiration no longer. I had begun to realize that something deeper,
more worthy, now held me to the task. What this was I made no attempt
to analyze--possibly I did not dare--but, nevertheless, the mere
conception of deserting her in the midst of this wilderness was too
utterly repugnant for expression. No, not that; whatever happened, it
would never be that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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