Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
The band struck up for the dance, and they all went into the ball-room.
The ladies (Carrie and Mrs. Lupkin) were anxious to see the dancing, and
as I had not quite finished my supper, Mr. Padge offered his arms to them
and escorted them to the ball-room, telling me to follow. I said to Mr.
Padge: “It is quite a West End affair,” to which remark Mr. Padge
replied: “That’s right.”
When I had quite finished my supper, and was leaving, the waiter who had
been attending on us arrested my attention by tapping me on the shoulder.
I thought it unusual for a waiter at a private ball to expect a tip, but
nevertheless gave a shilling, as he had been very attentive. He
smilingly replied: “I beg your pardon, sir, this is no good,” alluding to
the shilling. “Your party’s had four suppers at 5s. a head, five ices at
1s., three bottles of champagne at 11s. 6d., a glass of claret, and a
sixpenny cigar for the stout gentleman—in all £3 0s. 6d.!”
I don’t think I was ever so surprised in my life, and had only sufficient
breath to inform him that I had received a private invitation, to which
he answered that he was perfectly well aware of that; but that the
invitation didn’t include eatables and drinkables. A gentleman who was
standing at the bar corroborated the waiter’s statement, and assured me
it was quite correct.
The waiter said he was extremely sorry if I had been under any
misapprehension; but it was not his fault. Of course there was nothing
to be done but to pay. So, after turning out my pockets, I just managed
to scrape up sufficient, all but nine shillings; but the manager, on my
giving my card to him, said: “That’s all right.”
I don’t think I ever felt more humiliated in my life, and I determined to
keep this misfortune from Carrie, for it would entirely destroy the
pleasant evening she was enjoying. I felt there was no more enjoyment
for me that evening, and it being late, I sought Carrie and Mrs. Lupkin.
Carrie said she was quite ready to go, and Mrs. Lupkin, as we were
wishing her “Good-night,” asked Carrie and myself if we ever paid a visit
to Southend? On my replying that I hadn’t been there for many years, she
very kindly said: “Well, why don’t you come down and stay at our place?”
As her invitation was so pressing, and observing that Carrie wished to
go, we promised we would visit her the next Saturday week, and stay till
Monday. Mrs. Lupkin said she would write to us to-morrow, giving us the
address and particulars of trains, etc.
When we got outside the Drill Hall it was raining so hard that the roads
resembled canals, and I need hardly say we had great difficulty in
getting a cabman to take us to Holloway. After waiting a bit, a man said
he would drive us, anyhow, as far as “The Angel,” at Islington, and we
could easily get another cab from there. It was a tedious journey; the
rain was beating against the windows and trickling down the inside of the
cab.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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