Diary fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Men -- England -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Suburban life -- Fiction
APRIL 22.—I have of late frequently noticed Carrie rubbing her nails a
good deal with an instrument, and on asking her what she was doing, she
replied: “Oh, I’m going in for manicuring. It’s all the fashion now.” I
said: “I suppose Mrs. James introduced that into your head.” Carrie
laughingly replied: “Yes; but everyone does it now.”
I wish Mrs. James wouldn’t come to the house. Whenever she does she
always introduces some new-fandangled rubbish into Carrie’s head. One of
these days I feel sure I shall tell her she’s not welcome. I am sure it
was Mrs. James who put Carrie up to writing on dark slate-coloured paper
with white ink. Nonsense!
APRIL 23.—Received a letter from Mrs. Lupkin, of Southend, telling us the
train to come by on Saturday, and hoping we will keep our promise to stay
with her. The letter concluded: “You must come and stay at our house; we
shall charge you half what you will have to pay at the Royal, and the
view is every bit as good.” Looking at the address at the top of the
note-paper, I found it was “Lupkin’s Family and Commercial Hotel.”
I wrote a note, saying we were compelled to “decline her kind
invitation.” Carrie thought this very satirical, and to the point.
By-the-by, I will never choose another cloth pattern at night. I ordered
a new suit of dittos for the garden at Edwards’, and chose the pattern by
gaslight, and they seemed to be a quiet pepper-and-salt mixture with
white stripes down. They came home this morning, and, to my horror, I
found it was quite a flash-looking suit. There was a lot of green with
bright yellow-coloured stripes.
I tried on the coat, and was annoyed to find Carrie giggling. She said:
“What mixture did you say you asked for?”
I said: “A quiet pepper and salt.”
Carrie said: “Well, it looks more like mustard, if you want to know the
truth.”
CHAPTER XIX
Meet Teddy Finsworth, an old schoolfellow. We have a pleasant and quiet
dinner at his uncle’s, marred only by a few awkward mistakes on my part
respecting Mr. Finsworth’s pictures. A discussion on dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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