That evening Moscow was beautifully illuminated; the belfries of the numerous cathedrals and the towers of the Kremlin glittered with different-coloured lights. From all parts gushed out fountains illuminated by Bengal-lights. I felt myself transported into dreamland. The following days were a whirl of festivities. There were many entertainments given to which I was bidden, but it was difficult to get me to go anywhere. At the risk of being treated as a Vandal, I had arranged my existence nicely without going outside to look for amusement. I hate balls now, finding that dancing without a bit of flirtation is only a ridiculous jumping about, and loving my husband as I do, I am not the woman to be flirted with. I was told that the Grand Duke Michael repeatedly alluded to my absence at the Court balls. He hinted to Sergy that he was a Blue-Beard and kept me under lock and key inside a tower, like a tyrant knight of the middle-ages. Mrs. Grundy is ever on the war-path and people won’t let me alone for having cut myself from the world. I wonder why they take so much interest in me when I do not take the faintest interest in them. I do not care a fig for any one, having the courage of my own acts and opinions, and care only to please my husband. It is difficult to understand me at times. I am not quite like other people, being a thing of nerves and moods. One evening, when my sister-in-law had driven away to a Court ball, I felt myself somewhat like Cinderella, and as I couldn’t stand being left altogether out in the cold, I seized the opportunity for a few frantic tears in private. I daresay it was silly of me, but I couldn’t help it. Only fancy, my sister-in-law is going to enjoy herself whilst I must pine away at home! But the odd thing was that even if I had been persuaded ever so much to go to that ball, I should not have gone. A great festivity was given on the Khodinka Field for the people. On both sides of the Imperial pavilion large tribunes were built for the higher dignitaries of our town and the guests, and just opposite an immense stage was set up for the mob. I sat surrounded by all the great ones of the earth. As soon as Their Majesties appeared, surrounded by a glittering court, the performances in the different shows broke off and hurrahs were heard from all sides, whilst hats and bonnets flew up in the air. After the patriotic enthusiasm got appeased, an allegorical cavalcade in fancy dress defiled before us, after which baskets full of fruit and sweets were dealt out to the populace. We had to dine in a restaurant in the park, all our servants having a holiday that day.