Of all the memoir, the last lines touched the deepest chord. Although
the word debt had not been pronounced, he felt that this unfortunate
had a claim on him. Greslon said truly: a master is united to the mind
that he has directed, even if he has not willed this direction, even if
this mind has not rightly interpreted the teaching, by a sort of mystic
cord, and one which does not permit of casting it to certain moral
agony with the indifferent gesture of Pontius Pilate. Here was a second
crisis, more cruel perhaps than the first. When he had been fully
impressed by the ravages produced by his works, the savant became
panic-stricken. Now that he was calm, he measured, with frightful
precision the powerlessness of his psychology, however learned it might
be, to handle the strange mechanism of the human soul.
How many times he began letters to Robert Greslon which he was
unable to finish! What could he say to this miserable child? Must
he accept the inevitable in the internal as well as in the external
world--accept his mind as one accepts his body? Yes, was the result of
all his philosophy. But in this inevitable there was the most hideous
corruption in the past and in the present.
To advise this man to accept himself, with all the profligacy of such
a nature, was to make himself an accomplice in this profligacy. But to
blame him? In the name of what principle had he done it, after having
professed that virtue and vice are additions, good and evil, social
labels without value; finally that everything is of necessity in each
detail of our being as well as in the whole of the universe.
What counsel could he give him for the future? By what counsel prevent
this brain of twenty-two years from being ravaged by pride and
sensuality, by unhealthy curiosity and depraving paradoxes? Would one
prove to a viper, if it could comprehend reasoning, that it ought not
to secrete venom? “Why am I a viper?” it would respond.
Seeking to state his thought with precision, Adrien Sixte compared the
mental mechanism taken to pieces by Robert Greslon, with the watches
which he had seen in his father’s establishment. A spring goes, a
movement follows, then another, and another. The hands move. If a
single part were touched the whole would stop.
To change anything in the mind would be to stop life. Ah! If the
mechanism could only modify its own wheels and their movement! But if
the watchmaker take the watch to pieces and make it over again!
There are persons who turn from the evil to the good, who fall and rise
again, who are cast down and are again built up in their morality. Yes,
but there is the fallacy of repentance which presupposes the delusion
of liberty and of a judge, of a Heavenly Father. Could he, Adrien
Sixte, write to this young man: “Repent; cease to believe that which I
have shown you to be true?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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