This hymn to science, of which each of your pages is a strophe, I
listened to with a delight as much more intense as the faculty of
analysis, the principal reason of my piety, had found, thanks to you,
another way to exercise itself than at the confessional, and that your
two great treatises had enlightened me as to my inner being, at the
same time that your “Psychology of God” enlightened me in regard to
the external universe, with a light which, even to-day, is my last, my
inextinguishable beacon in the midst of the tempest.
How you explained to me all the incoherences of my youth! This moral
solitude in which I had suffered so much with my mother, with the Abbé
Martel, with my comrades, with everyone, even Emile--I now understood.
Have you not demonstrated, in your “Theory of the Passions,” that we
are powerless to get away from Self, and that all relation between two
beings reposes, like everything else, upon illusion?
Tour “Anatomy of the Will” revealed to me the necessary motives, the
inevitable logic of the yielding to the temptations of the senses for
which I had suffered remorse so severe. The complications with which I
reproached myself as a lack of frankness, you showed to be the very law
of existence imposed by heredity. I found also, that, in searching the
romancers and poets of the century for culpable and morbid conditions
of soul, I had, without suspecting it, followed the inborn vocation of
psychologist. Have you not written:
“All souls must be considered by the psychologist as experiences
instituted by nature. Among these experiences, some are useful to
society and are called virtues; others are injurious and are called
vices or crimes. These last are however, the more significant, and
there would lack an essential element to the science of the mind, if
Nero, for example, or some Italian tyrant of the fifteenth century had
not existed?”
On those warm summer days, I walked out, with one of these books in my
pocket, and, when alone in the country, I read some of these sentences
and became absorbed in meditation on their meaning. I applied to the
country which surrounded me the philosophical interpretation of what
we agree to call evil. Without doubt the eruptions which had raised
the chain of the Domes, at whose feet I wandered, had devastated with
burning lava the neighboring plain and destroyed living beings, but
they had produced this magnificence of scenery which charmed me, when
my eyes contemplated the graceful group of the Pariou, the Puy de Dôme
and all the line of these noble mountains.
The road was verdant with euphorbias in bloom, whose stems I broke
to see the milk-white poison exuding from them. But these poisonous
plants nourished the beautiful tithymal caterpillar, green with dark
spots, from which a butterfly would be born, a sphinx with colored
wings of the finest tint.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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