The Disowned — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
The Disowned — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
Ah, dearest, how we belie ourselves! At this moment, when you might
think, from the idle, rattling, silly flow of my letter, that my heart
was as light and free as it was when we used to play on the green lawn,
and under the sunny trees, in the merry days of our childhood, the tears
are running down my cheeks; see where they have fallen on the page,
and my head throbs as if my thoughts were too full and heavy for it to
contain. It is past one! I am alone, and in my own room. Mamma is gone
to a rout at H---- House, but I knew I should not meet Clarence there,
and so said I was ill, and remained at home. I have done so often of
late, whenever I have learned from him that he was not going to the same
place as Mamma. Indeed, I love much better to sit alone and think
over his words and looks; and I have drawn, after repeated attempts, a
profile likeness of him; and oh, Eleanor, I cannot tell you how dear
it is to me; and yet there is not a line, not a look of his countenance
which I have not learned by heart, without such useless aids to my
memory. But I am ashamed of telling you all this, and my eyes ache so,
that I can write no more.
Ever, as ever, dearest Eleanor, your affectionate friend.
F. A.
LETTER III. FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME.
Eleanor, I am undone! My mother--my mother has been so cruel; but she
cannot, she cannot intend it, or she knows very little of my heart. With
some ties may be as easily broken as formed; with others they are twined
around life itself.
Clarence dined with us yesterday, and was unusually animated and
agreeable. He was engaged on business with Lord Aspeden afterwards, and
left us early. We had a few people in the evening, Lord Borodaile among
the rest; and my mother spoke of Clarence, and his relationship to
and expectations from Mr. Talbot. Lord Borodaile sneered; “You are
mistaken,” said he, sarcastically; “Mr. Linden may feel it convenient to
give out that he is related to so old a family as the Talbots; and since
Heaven only knows who or what he is, he may as well claim alliance with
one person as another; but he is certainly not the nephew of Mr.
Talbot of Scarsdale Park, for that gentleman had no sisters and but
one brother, who left an only daughter; that daughter had also but one
child, certainly no relation to Mr. Linden. I can vouch for the truth
of this statement; for the Talbots are related to, or at least nearly
connected with, myself; and I thank Heaven that I have a pedigree, even
in its collateral branches, worth learning by heart.” And then Lord
Borodaile--I little thought, when I railed against him, what serious
cause I should have to hate him--turned to me and harassed me with his
tedious attentions the whole of the evening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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