The Disowned — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
The Disowned — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
I have only been in bed a few days; yet it seems to me as if a long
portion of my existence were past,--as if I had stepped into a new era.
You remember that my last letter attempted to express my feelings at
Mamma’s speech about Clarence, and at my seeing him so suddenly. Now,
dearest, I cannot but look on that day, on these sensations, as on a
distant dream. Every one is so kind to me, Mamma caresses and soothes me
so fondly, that I fancy I must have been under some illusion. I am sure
they could not seriously have meant to forbid his addresses. No, no: I
feel that all will yet be well,--so well, that even you, who are of so
contented a temper, will own that if you were not Eleanor you would be
Flora.
I wonder whether Clarence knows that I have been ill? I wish you knew
him. Well, dearest, this letter--a very unhandsome return, I own, for
yours--must content you at present, for they will not let me write more;
though, so far as I am concerned, I am never so weak, in frame I mean,
but what I could scribble to you about him.
Addio, carissima. F. A.
I have prevailed on Mamma, who wished to sit by me and amuse me, to go
to the Opera to-night, the only amusement of which she is particularly
fond. Heaven forgive me for my insincerity, but he always comes into our
box, and I long to hear some news of him.
LETTER II. FROM THE SAME TO THE SAME.
Eleanor, dearest Eleanor, I am again very ill, but not as I was before,
ill from a foolish vexation of mind: no, I am now calm and even happy.
It was from an increase of cold only that I have suffered a relapse. You
may believe this, I assure you, in spite of your well meant but bitter
jests upon my infatuation, as you very rightly call it, for Mr. Linden.
You ask me what news from the Opera? Silly girl that I was, to lie awake
hour after hour, and refuse even to take my draught, lest I should be
surprised into sleep, till Mamma returned. I sent Jermyn down directly
I heard her knock at the door (oh, how anxiously I had listened for
it!) to say that I was still awake and longed to see her. So, of course,
Mamma came up, and felt my pulse, and said it was very feverish, and
wondered the draught had not composed me; with a great deal more to the
same purpose, which I bore as patiently as I could, till it was my turn
to talk; and then I admired her dress and her coiffure, and asked if it
was a full house, and whether the prima donna was in voice, etc.: till,
at last, I won my way to the inquiry of who were her visitors. “Lord
Borodaile,” said she, “and the Duke of ----, and Mr. St. George,
and Captain Leslie, and Mr. De Retz, and many others.” I felt so
disappointed, Eleanor, but did not dare ask whether he was not of the
list; till, at last, my mother observing me narrowly, said, “And by the
by, Mr. Linden looked in for a few minutes. I am glad, my dearest Flora,
that I spoke to you so decidedly about him the other day.” “Why, Mamma?”
said I, hiding my face under the clothes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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