Charms -- Fiction; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
A young girl, she had said; and she could think without "minding" it in
the least, that the best thing this lad of twenty-two could do would be
to fall in love with a young girl. She had thought so several times
lately. It was odd, however, that she always thought of this solution as
"a" young girl, not any particular one. Not little Olwen Howel-Jones,
for instance; oh, no! Nor her (Mrs. Cartwright's) young niece Stella,
not any of the Mabels or Ethels or Dorothys that she knew at home, and
to whom she might have introduced the boy. None of these could she think
of for one instant in connection with Jack Awdas. Yet, one of these
days, some lucky girl must be responsible for the happiness of all his
days (not just of one glamorous afternoon in the forest) and all his
nights (not just of one night when the power of darkness had been kept
at bay, and when he had fallen at last asleep "as one whom his mother
comforteth"). Yes, later on, there must be "a" young girl for him....
He stopped by the cannon.
"Don't go in. Just a little minute," he coaxed, softly. "I can't talk to
you in there."
"It's no use talking," murmured Mrs. Cartwright.
But she did pause.
And, as he sat down on the body of that obsolete gun, and then,
unfastening his thick coat, spread a flap of it out, she did yield so
far as to sit down, in her pale wrap, on that corner of his coat beside
him.
He leant an arm on the cannon behind her. Both looked in silence over
the lagoon, towards the reef.
White, red; white, red--flashed the warning light.
She felt herself at the beginning of a conflict that must tear her this
way and that; but his mind was single and set. He was just blind,
obstinate, and keen.
He said, "I told you that night when you sat up with me what I thought
of girls. I don't want 'em. I want _you_, and you're all I want; or ever
shall. I can swear to that. Oh, I know myself! I can swear to it."
The arm behind her trembled a little with his earnestness.
For one mad moment Mrs. Cartwright admitted to herself that if she could
be twenty-two again for one year, she would buy that year with the rest
of the time that she had to live. Ah, to be twenty-two! To let that hard
boyish arm close round her, clasp her, crush her! To turn, with lips and
eyes aglow, to turn to him as she felt herself drawn to do--drawn,
driven----
But because she felt thus she kept around herself that invisible,
intangible armour of refusal which is every woman's at need and which no
outside power can pierce. She did not need to move one half-inch away
from that corner of his coat on which she sat. Yet ... Yet she could
hardly believe that he did not guess at the growing disturbance in the
heart that beat not so far, after all, from his own.
Appealingly he broke out. "_You_ must marry me. I don't know why on
earth you want to talk about other girls to me!"
"_'Other_' girls----!"
"Yes. You're just a girl to me. You _are_ a girl, yourself. I can't see
you as anything but a girl!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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