The twenty-seventh? It was the day when Miss Harden was to join her
father at Cannes. The coincidence of dates was significant; it
amounted to proof. It meant that Sir Frederick must have long
anticipated the catastrophe, and that he had the decency to spare her
the last painful details. She would not have to witness the invasion
of the Vandals, the overturning of the household gods, and the
defilement of their sacred places.
Well, he thought bitterly, they couldn't be much more defiled than
they were already. He saw himself as an abominable object, a thing
with a double face and an unclean and aitchless tongue, sitting there
from morning to night, spying, calculating, appraising, with a view to
fraud. At least that was how she would think of him when she knew; and
he had got to tell her.
He was on the rack again; and the wonder was how he had ever left it.
It seemed to him that he could never have been long released at any
time. He had had moments of comparative ease, when he could lie on it
at one end of the room and see Lucia sitting at the other, and the
sight of her must have soothed his agony. He had had moments of
forgetfulness, of illusion, when he had gone to sleep on the rack, and
had dreamed the most delicious dreams, moments even of deliverance,
when his conscience, exhausted with the sheer effort of winding, had
dropped to sleep too. And then had come the reckless moments, when he
had yielded himself wholly to the delight of her presence; and that
supreme instant when his love for Lucia seemed to have set him free.
And now it was love itself, furiously accusing, that flung him back
upon the torture, and stretched him out further than he had been
stretched before.
But Dicky's letter had to be answered at once. He settled Dicky for
the present by reminding him that nothing could be done by either of
them till the twenty-seventh. But he thought that if Sir Frederick or
any of his family were unable to pay up, there ought to be no
difficulty in arranging with his father.
To his father he sent a word of warning. "For Goodness' sake don't
commit yourself with Pilkington until you see me. I shall probably be
back in town to-morrow afternoon!"
Having settled Dicky, he breakfasted, bathed, was a little long over
his dressing, taking care that nothing in his appearance should
suggest the dishevelled person of the dawn. Thus he was rather later
than usual in presenting himself at the library. He found Miss Harden
there at his end of the table, with his note-book, busy over his pile
and engaged in finishing his Section--Philosophy. Her clear and candid
eyes greeted him without a shadow of remembrance. She had always this
air of accepting him provisionally, for the moment only, as if her
kindness had no springs in the past and could promise nothing for the
future. He had always found this manner a little distressing, and it
baffled him completely now. Still, in another minute he would have to
tell her, whatever her manner or her mood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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