Those two letters she answered without more delay. To Horace she wrote
in a reassuring manner, so as to absolve him from any sense of
obligation he might happen to feel. She would rather he came down a
little later than he proposed. Meanwhile he was not to be anxious, for
Mr. Schofield was managing her affairs extremely well. She admitted
that when those wonderful affairs were settled her income would be but
small (she considered that this was a thing Horace ought to be told
before--before he wrote any more letters). She added that the library,
the pictures and the furniture would have to be sold. And Court House,
too, she was afraid. (That also was a fact that must not be concealed
from him for a moment. It seemed to concern Horace so much more than
it did her.) These things, which it was her duty to tell him, she told
simply and plainly. But she omitted to mention that two men in
possession were sitting in the housekeeper's room, in attitudes of
more or less constraint. She ended by assuring Horace of her
gratitude, with a fervency which suggested that he had some cause to
doubt it. And indeed, at the moment, she could hardly tell whether
she were more grateful to him for offering to come to her or for
having stopped away.
All this necessary business Lucia transacted with one half of her
mind; while the other stood far off, possessed by its sense of
unreality, of illusion.
Next she went through the tradesmen's bills. There were a great many
people to be paid, and unless Court House were sold there would be
nothing to pay them with. It was at this point that Robert came in
with the announcement that Mr. Rickman had called and wished to see
her.
At first (the active intelligence being busy with accounts), her only
idea was that she owed Mr. Rickman fifteen pounds and that when all
debts were paid fifteen pounds would represent a very solid portion of
her income. Then her dreaming self awoke to the memory of something
unachieved, an obligation rashly incurred, a promise that could never
be fulfilled.
Yes. She would see Mr. Rickman.
CHAPTER XXX
Lucia had risen and was standing in the embrasure of the south window.
She had her back to the door, so that she could not see him as he came
in.
He wondered how on earth he was going to get over the space between
the window and the door. A sudden wave of weakness went through his
body; he had horrible sensations of sinking at the middle and of
giving way altogether at the knees. He had been afraid of seeing her
suffer; now he knew that what he was really afraid of was her fear of
seeing him. He expected to see her face set in abhorrence of his
sympathy, her body shrink in anticipation of a touch on her pain.
Lucia spared him all the embarrassments of that approach As if she had
divined his feeling, she turned, she came forward to meet him, she
held out her hand and smiled as she would have smiled if nothing had
happened.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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