There was a sound of feet running swiftly up the stair; the door of
the adjoining room opened and shut, and a man's voice was heard
singing. These sounds conveyed to Edith a frightful sense of the
nearness and intimacy of the young man, and of the horror of Lucia's
position. As she listened she held her cousin by her two hands in a
dumb agony of entreaty.
"Horace is coming back," she whispered.
"No, Edith, it's no good. I'm going to stay till Kitty takes me."
Edith wondered whether, after all, Lucia was so very fastidious and
refined; whether, indeed, in taking after her family, she did not take
after the least estimable of the Hardens. There was a wild strain in
them; their women had been known to do queer things, unaccountable,
disagreeable, disreputable things; and Lucia was Sir Frederick's
daughter. Somehow that young voice singing in the next room rubbed
this impression into her. She stiffened and drew back.
"And am I to tell Horace, then, that you are happy here?"
"Yes. Tell him to come and see how happy I am."
"Very well."
As Edith opened the door to go, the voice in the next room stopped
singing, and the young man became suddenly very still.
CHAPTER LVII
Lucia lay back in her chair, wondering, not at Edith, but at herself.
Her cousin's visit had been so far effectual that it had made her
aware of the attitude of her own mind. If she had been told beforehand
that she could be happy in a Bloomsbury boarding-house, or within any
reasonable distance of such people as Miss Bishop and Mr. Soper, the
thing would have appeared to her absurd. And yet it was so. She was
happy among these dreadful people, as she had not been happy at
Hampstead among the cultured and refined. But when she came to examine
into the nature of this happiness she found that it contained no
positive element; that it consisted mainly of relief, relief from the
strain of an incessant anxiety and uncertainty. That the strain had
been divided between her and Horace had only made it worse, for she
had had the larger share of the anxiety, he of the uncertainty. Not
that he was more uncertain than in the old days at Harmouth. He was
less so. But she had never been anxious then. For after all they had
understood each other; and apparently it was the understanding now
that failed. Yet Horace had been right when he told himself that Lucia
would never imply anything, infer anything, claim anything, take
anything for granted on the sanction of that understanding. She would
not have hurried by a look or word the slow movements of the love
which somehow he had led her to believe in. Love between man and woman
to her mind was a sort of genius; and genius, as she said long ago to
poor Rickman, must always have about it a divine uncertainty. Yes,
love too was the wind of the divine spirit blowing where it listeth,
the kindling of the divine fire. She had waited for it patiently,
reverently, not altogether humbly, but with a superb possession of her
soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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