"Mistah President, de real flatform, suh. I'll sw'ar tuh high Heaven. Yas, I'll sw'ar higher dan dat. I'll go down an' de uth shall crumble intuh dus' befor' dee shall amalgamise my rights. 'Bout dis question uh cyarpet-bags. Ef you cyarpet-baggers does go back on us, woes be unto you! You better take yo cyarpet-bags and quit, and de quicker you git up and git de better. I do not abdicate de supperstition tuh dese strange friens, lately so-called citizens uh Ferginny. Ef dee don' gimme my rights, I'll suffer dis country tuh be lak Sarah. I'll suffer desterlation fus!"... "I'se here tuh qualify my constituents. I'll sing tuh Rome an' tuh Englan' an' tuh de uttermos' parts uh de uth." ("You must address yourself to the chair," said that functionary, ready to faint.) "All right, suh, I'll not 'sire tuh maintain de House any longer." HON. LEWIS LINDSAY (_From Stenographic Report_) December Fifth Religion is as necessary to reason as reason is to religion. The one cannot exist without the other. A reasoning being would lose his reason, in attempting to account for the great phenomena of nature, had he not a Supreme Being to refer to; and well has it been said that if there had been no God mankind would have been obliged to imagine one. GEORGE WASHINGTON December Sixth CLEMENCY OF JEFFERSON DAVIS Honorable Jefferson Davis: My father, Harrison Self, is sentenced to hang at four o'clock this evening on a charge of bridge-burning. As he remains my earthly all, and all my hopes of happiness centre on him, I implore you to pardon him. ELIZABETH SELF (_Telegram which secured pardon for her father_) _Jefferson Davis dies, 1889_ _The county of Kentucky formed from Virginia, 1776_ _Duncan Nathaniel Ingraham, "Hero of the Koszta Rescue," born, 1802_ December Seventh For years after the war, the Republican politicians in the South told the negroes that if the Democrats were elected, they would be put back into slavery. Consequently, after the first election of Cleveland, many of them began to make their arrangements to readapt themselves to the old regime. One old Virginia "aunty" living in Howard County, Maryland, announced that she was ready to return to Richmond; but declared most positively: "Deed, my ole Missus has got to send me my railroad ticket fust." December Eighth Our one sweet singer breaks no more The silence sad and long, The land is hushed from shore to shore It brooks no feebler song. CARL MCKINLEY _Henry Timrod born, 1829_ _Joel Chandler Harris born, 1848_ December Ninth JOEL CHANDLER HARRIS