As Dr. Birney now on the morning of this twenty-fourth of December sat
in his library, trying to make out the bills of the year, and there lay
disclosed before him the book of the years--the story of his life from
boyhood up--he by and by abandoned the filling out of blanks against his
professional neighbors and began to cast up as at the end of no previous
year his own human debt to the better ideals of his fellow-beings--and
to himself. And Nature, who was grievously in his debt but had no notion
of paying, Nature stood at his shoulder and pressed him for settlement
in that old formula of hers: you need not have opened this account with
Nature, but since it has been opened, there is no closing it. It runs
until you are declared bankrupt; and you are not bankrupt until you are
dead. Then of course as a business firm I shall lose what I have not
already collected from you; but there are enough others to keep the
concern prosperous and going. Meantime--make a partial payment _now_:
payment in suffering, payment in expiation, payment in self-repudiation.
If you have any funds invested in a habit of inferiority, they are
acceptable: I levy on them.
One particular fact this morning had riveted Dr. Birney's attention upon
the slow inexorable grinding of these mills of life.
For years the unhappiness of his domestic affairs--the withdrawal of his
wife from him under his roof--had by insensible stages travelled as a
story to all other homesteads in that region. In his own house it had
always remained a mute tragedy: each of the two who bore the yoke of it
made no willing sign; each turned toward their world the unbetraying
countenance. And it must be remembered that half a century ago and less
you might have journeyed inquisitively through the length and breadth of
that land and have found probably not one case of divorce nor of
separation without divorce: among that people marriage was truly for
better or for worse--a great binding and unalterable sacrament of
blended lives. If after marriage love's young dream ended, then you
lived on where you were--wide awake; if all gorgeous colors left the
clouds and the clouds left the sky, you stood the blistering sun; if it
turned out to be oil and water poured together, at least it was oil and
water within the same priceless cruet: and the perpetuity of the cruet
was considered of more value to society than the preservation of a
little oil and water.
No divorce then nor separation in his case; nor any voluntary
vulgarization of the truth, and yet a widely diffused knowledge of this
truth among neighbors, among his brother physicians, in county seats,
and away down on that lower level of the domestic servants, the proudest
experience of whose lives is perhaps the discovery of something to
criticise in those far above them: is it not a personal triumph to level
a pocket telescope on the sun?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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