We had very much to say to one another; but it could only be said at
intervals, when her strength allowed of it. We talked together, more
calmly than I could have believed possible, of her approaching death;
and, in a stupor of despair, I owned to myself and her that there was
not a hope of her being spared to me much longer.
"I have longed so," she murmured, "to see my boy in a home of his own
before I died. Perhaps I was wrong, but that was why I urged on your
marriage with Julia. You will have no real home after I am gone, Martin;
and I feel as if I could die so much more quietly if I had some
knowledge of your future life. Now I shall know nothing. I think that is
the sting of death to me."
"I wish it had been as you wanted it to be," I said, never feeling so
bitterly the disappointment I had caused her, and almost grieved that I
had ever seen Olivia.
"I suppose it is all for the best," she answered, feebly. "O Martin! I
have seen your Olivia."
"Well?" I said.
"I did so want to see her," she continued--"though she has brought us
all into such trouble. I loved her because you love her. Johanna went
with me, because she is such a good judge, you know, and I did not like
to rely upon my own feelings. Appearances are very much against her; but
she is very engaging, and I believe she is a good girl. I am sure she is
good."
"I know she is," I said.
"We talked of you," she went on--"how good you were to her that week in
the spring. She had never been quite unconscious, she thought; but she
had seen and heard you all the time, and knew you were doing your utmost
to save her. I believe we talked more of you than of any thing else."
That was very likely, I knew, as far as my mother was concerned. But I
was anxious to hear whether Olivia had not confided to her more of her
secret than I had yet been able to learn from other sources. To a woman
like my mother she might have intrusted all her history.
"Did you find any thing out about her friends and family?" I asked.
"Not much," she answered. "She told me her own mother had died when she
was quite a child; and she had a step-mother living, who has been the
ruin of her life. That was her expression. 'She has been the ruin of my
life!' she said; and she cried a little, Martin, with her head upon my
lap. If I could only have offered her a home here, and promised to be a
mother to her!"
"God bless you, my darling mother!" I said.
"She intends to stay where she is as long as it is possible," she
continued; "but she told me she wanted work to do--any kind of work by
which she could earn a little money. She has a diamond ring, and a watch
and chain, worth a hundred pounds; so she must have been used to
affluence. Yet she spoke as if she might have to live in Sark for years.
It is a very strange position for a young girl."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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