"Yes," she answered; "it is such a miserable, unfortunate thing for you.
But how could I have helped it?"
"You could not help it," I said.
"I did not mean to deceive you," she continued--"neither you nor any
one. When I fled away from him I had no plan of any kind. I was just
like a leaf driven about by the wind, and it tossed me here. I did not
think I ought to tell any one I was married. I wish I could have
foreseen this. Why did God let me have that accident in the spring? Why
did he let you come over to see me?"
"Are you surprised that I love you?" I asked.
Now I saw a subtle flush steal across her face, and her eyes fell to the
ground.
"I never thought of it till this afternoon," she murmured. "I knew you
were going to marry your cousin Julia, and I knew I was married, and
that there could be no release from that. All my life is ruined, but you
and Tardif made it more bearable. I did not think you loved me till I
saw your face this afternoon."
"I shall always love you," I cried, passionately, looking down on the
shining, drooping head beside me, and the sad face and listless arms
hanging down in an attitude of dejection. She seemed so forlorn a
creature that I wished I could take her to my heart again; but that was
impossible now.
"No," she answered in her calm, sorrowful voice. "When you see clearly
that it is an evil thing, you will conquer it. There will be no hope
whatever in your love for me, and it will pass away. Not soon, perhaps;
I can scarcely wish you to forget me soon. Yet it would be wrong for you
to love me now. Why was I driven to marry him so long ago?"
A sharp, bitter tone rang through her quiet voice, and for a moment she
hid her face in her hands.
"Olivia," I said, "it is harder upon me than you can think, or I can
tell."
She had not the faintest notion of how hard this trial was. I had
sacrificed every plan and purpose of my life in the hope of winning her.
I had cast away, almost as a worthless thing, the substantial prosperity
which had been within my grasp, and now that I stretched out my hand for
the prize, I found it nothing but an empty shadow. Deeper even than this
lay the thought of my mother's bitter disappointment.
"Your husband must have treated you very badly, before you would take
such a desperate step as this," I said again, after a long silence,
scarcely knowing what I said.
"He treated me so ill," said Olivia, with the same hard tone in her
voice, "that when I had a chance of escape it seemed as if God Himself
opened the door for me. He treated me so ill that, if I thought there
was any fear of him finding me out here, I would rather a thousand times
you had left me to die in the caves."
That brought to my mind what I had almost forgotten--the woman whom my
imprudent curiosity had brought into pursuit; of her. I felt ready to
curse my folly aloud, as I did in my heart, for having gone to Messrs.
Scott and Brown.
"Olivia," I said, "there is a woman in Guernsey who has some clew to
you--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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